Batten down the hatches, folks. It’s Easter time. From Palm Sunday up until Easter Day, every Catholic shares a similar experience. Whether it’s whose feet you wash on Holy Thursday or how many times you yawn during the Easter Vigil, we’ve all been there. You never know what will happen when in confined spaces with a bunch of crazy Catholics -- all you know is it will probably top last Easter.
1. Who are all these people that only come to mass twice a year?
2. I didn’t know he/she was Catholic!
3. It’s definitely been more than two years since my last confession…
4. What is the worst consequence if I end up eating meat on a Friday?
5. When is Lent officially over?
6. Please don’t make me wash that old man’s feet.
7. Holy Thursday is the most exciting mass of the year!
8. Who in the world came up with the title “Good Friday”?
9. Do I genuflect at the cross or just kiss it? Or both?
10. “Sorry, I can’t go. I have church… again.”
11. Why do my parents keep shushing me?
12. You know I can recite the creation story by heart.
13. I better drink at least three cups of coffee to stay awake during the vigil.
14. Respect to the people who are being fully immersed right now for their baptism.
15. I cannot think about anything but the chocolate awaiting me at home.
16. Please just let this Easter Day mass be short.
17. Maybe no one will recognize me when I go up for communion.
18. Shame on those people who think Sundays are “cheat days.”
19. I’m about to violently start doing what I gave up for Lent.
20. Who knew Jesus came in chocolate form.
21. Why can’t I stop yawning?
22. I’ve been to church five times this week…
