Thoughts I Have Whilst Building IKEA Furniture

Thoughts I Have Whilst Building IKEA Furniture

You don't know stress until you've gone head-to-head with an IKEA instruction manual. Screw you, MICKE desk.


So last week, I shared with you all the thoughts I believe many of us have when we enter the fortress that is IKEA. But what happens when that madness is brought into your actual home? Below you will find an itemized list of thoughts I had during my slow demise into pure and total insanity.

1. I'm ready to face the world, let's do this.

2. I mean it's only a desk…how bad could it possibly be?

3. Besides, the last time I built IKEA furniture it only took me half an hour.

4. I'm pretty sure people are just exaggerating about how difficult it is.

5. Ok, the box is open – now the real fun begins.

6. Jesus Christ, why are there so many pieces? It's literally just a desk.

7. I really don't think it's possible for this instruction manual to be any more unhelpful than it is.

8. Like, I'm sorry, but this looks like a poorly illustrated children's picture book.

9. The people at IKEA headquarters probably did this as some sick joke. "Lol let's just f**k with the public, this'll be fun".

10. Awesome. I just spent 10 minutes trying to hammer the WRONG screw into this piece of wood. That's valuable time I could've spent watching Netflix, god dammit.

11. This all could've been avoided if they, oh I dunno, MORE CLEARLY LABELLED THINGS.

12. I'm not bitter.

13. Jk, I'm a little bitter.

14. If I'm being completely honest, I have minimal faith in my capabilities to complete this task at this point.

15.There are holes for screws on both sides of this plank of wood and I have no idea which side I'm supposed to put the screws in.

16. Wtf, IKEA.

17. But actually though, if you want to test the strength of your relationship with your significant other, you should build IKEA furniture together.

18. If you can both stand to be around each other after that…congratulations, your bond is strong af. Kudos to you. #relationshipgoals

19. Oh, awesome. There are missing screws. Just what I needed on the brink of my emotional breakdown. Thanks, IKEA.

20. "And what brings you into therapy today, Sarah?" "IKEA f***ed me up".

21. Like, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I needed to be a freaking engineer to build this furniture.

22. Now I just feel stupid as f**k.

23. I don't think I've ever sworn more…IKEA brings out the worst in me.

24. Maybe if I meditate I'll calm down? Meh, probably not.

*An hour and a half later*

25. Are you kidding me right now? The pull-out drawer won't even go all the way in.

26. I literally hate everything.

27. Oh wait, I just forgot to hammer that screw in all the way.

28. False alarm, friends. I have not yet gone completely insane.

29. I'm never going to look at IKEA the same way again.

30. Dear IKEA, thank you for shaving off a solid five years of my life from the stress induced by your instruction manuals.

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