A few weeks ago, I was sitting in the Student Union, complaining to a friend that she had accidentally ignored me and made the group next to me think I was pathetic or crazy. She laughed and said in what was clearly supposed to be joking tone, “I thought you didn’t care what people think.”
It’s not the most intense or interesting conversation, but I haven’t stopped thinking about it. I’ll admit, I like to seem blasé, callow and dare I say, punk, to most people, but it’s hardly a secret that I want people to like me, as well. No, not all people, and no, that doesn’t mean I’m going to run around changing for anyone, but, of course, I don’t want to be disliked! More than the reality of someone liking me or not, I like to feel like I’m liked and I definitely don’t want other people thinking that I’m not. It was a rational response to being a little upset for being caught screaming the name of someone who may or may not have been blatantly ignoring me. So, joking or not, why was my friend’s immediate reaction to poke fun at me caring?
Here’s why: we don’t like anyone to know that we need anyone else. Think about society, think about the media and take just a second to think of every person who’s seen as “weak.” Most of them are going to be clingy/emotional partners, someone dependent on someone else in any kind of way and somebody who’s seen as acting "overdramatic." All of that is an issue in its own way, but it’s the overdramatic part that gets me. So, often we ignore people because “they’re just doing it for attention.” Instead of condemning them, why not ask why they need the attention? There’s usually a pretty good reason and honestly, attention isn’t some trophy to be given only to the most worthy. It’s a necessary desire and shouldn’t be one so difficult to attain.
Our entire lives revolve around the idea of caring about other people’s opinions. We have this weird way of looking at the world like everyone is constantly paying attention to us even though it’s usually in a negative way. Next time you feel uncomfortable around a group of people, or think twice about saying something on Facebook, or even set out an outfit, remember that you’re assuming people are taking the time to pay attention to you. You’re probably right, too. At least one person is going to notice you, even if it isn’t for whatever possibly embarrassing thing you just did in front of that group of people. You probably care about that vague concept of a person, even if it’s only in your subconscious. You want them to approve of whatever they saw. That’s not a bad thing, though -- the person next to you cares, too.
There is no one in the world who doesn’t need someone or who doesn’t care about at least one person’s opinion, no matter how antisocial, introverted, or cynical. Maybe it’s a weakness if you want to really argue about it, but it’s not a fault; it’s part of being human -- we’re social creatures. So, yeah, I do care what people think. And so does my friend. And so do you! And we should really stop acting like we don’t.
