Freshman year is a difficult adjustment for everyone. You are warned before moving to school that you will need to adjust to the college lifestyle and the new people. Your parents tell you it will be hard, your friends say they will never forget you. Your teachers warn you of nasty professors. It is a scary, but thrilling experience.
I was so ready for college. Everyone knew that I was going to flourish once I moved away from my town and started fresh. I was excited for the new adventure, new friends and a new start to reclaim who I was. Before I moved to Duluth, I didn't realize I would be embarking on one of my toughest years yet.
Moving to a completely new city, making a completely new friend group, sharing living quarters with someone and diving into college level courses were all new stressors for me. I thought, "OK, this is hard, but I'm independent. I'm strong. I will be alright." What I didn't think would happen is that my whole self-awareness would be transitioned.
Before coming to college, I knew I was strong-willed. I knew I was organized, and I knew I was independent. I had dealt with depression in the past, and I still deal with anxiety. But I figured these two factors of my life wouldn't affect me too drastically in school. I was so confident about my journey I'd had with myself finding out who I really was. I had figured I already had the experience to make me who I was, and I was stopping there. I didn't think I needed any more room to grow. Anyone who has met me this year can tell me something different. I have gone through hardships this year that have both made me take a few steps back and a few forward with discovering who I really am.
I know that I am independent, but I also seek reassurance from people close to me. I'm someone who talks through my problems. This has also caused me to take a role that might say "poor me, everything bad happens to me." I have realized that when something bad happens, I need to pick myself up and move on not dwell on being a victim. I knew I was responsible and practical. This has been a positive thing but also held me back on some decisions or fun times I could've had. I thought I was confident with who I was, but I now know that I have room to grow with my self-esteem and perception of myself.
You may know the kind of person you are or the kind of person you want to be. College has had a way of changing my self assurance of myself. It may have been scary this freshman year changing my perceptive, but I know it has been a blessing for me.
