What I Thought About 'All the Crooked Saints'

What I Thought About 'All the Crooked Saints'

Maggie Stiefvater doesn't disappoint.
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In my opinion, Maggie Stiefvater, the author of "All the Crooked Saints," is a really cool person. She's a pretty famous author, she loves cars that drive fast (and writing about them), she can play a variety of instruments including the bagpipe, she lives on a kind of farm, and she's an artist. She's had a variety of careers that include portrait artist. She also dresses like a badass. She's a role model of mine for these reasons.

On top of being one of my favorite people that I don't know, Maggie Stiefvater is one of my favorite authors. This is because she combines realism with fantasy in a way that is as magical as the contents of her stories. I've read almost everything she's written (don't worry, the rest of her novels are on my to-be-read list), and I have yet to be disappointed. My absolute favorite is "The Scorpio Races," but "All the Crooked Saints" is an extremely, extremely close second. This is saying something, as both "The Wolves of Mercy Falls" and "The Raven Cycle" both seriously impacted my life, the latter definitely ranking up there as one of my favorite series of all time.

"All the Crooked Saints" has made a place among my favorite novels.

One of my favorite things about her writing is how she reinterprets particular fantasy aspects. With the "Wolves of Mercy Falls" series she re-imagined werewolves; with "The Scorpio Races" she gave readers a new take on kelpies; "The Raven Cycle" taught me about lore from the British Isles and lay lines. "All the Crooked Saints" showed me a new take on a kind of magic. Without Maggie, I wouldn't have realized just how much I love reading and writing about magic.

As an aspiring fantasy writer, her writing is a huge source of inspiration for me.

I looked forward to "All the Crooked Saints" for a very long time. I follow her on Tumblr, and I noticed when she started tagging interesting photos as 'dark novel.' These pictures tended to be pictures of owls (my favorite bird/animal!) or derelict looking places in the desert. At the time, I was hoping that the novel was going to be a continuation or spin-off of "The Raven Cycle," because I figured that 'dark novel' was an accurate descriptor of a book related to the series, but I was equally excited when I found out that it was a stand-alone novel because, historically, I have adored her standalone novels. Also, luckily for me, she is writing a spin-off to "The Raven Cycle," (it has a different Tumblr tag) which I couldn't be happier about.

"All the Crooked Saints" does a lot of talking about the title: saints. The novel sets up the rules of the world that the novel takes place in very quickly, establishing that the central family is "saints" who can work different kinds of "miracles." The Soria family is intricate and complex, and I found the theme of fate to be quite interesting and it is subtly weaved throughout the story. I would say that the entire novel is relatively subtle, but that has a big payoff, in my opinion. "All the Crooked Saints" is a book to pay attention to as you read, which isn't a problem because the book demands your attention to every detail as you read, and it isn't a burden on the reader.

I found that the novel had a slow beginning, but the characters more than made up for the slow start.

Each character was wonderfully unique, which I find to be a characteristic of Maggie's writing in general. It's normal for her characters to be so developed that they have a weird quirk that reflects how individualistic people in real life are, which is one of the things that gives her novels the gritty feel of real life. Real life, if there was magic, of course.

I love Maggie Stiefvater's books and the way that she writes them, and I hope she has the best of luck writing her future novels. With her imagination, I'm sure the ideas don't stop coming.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.instagram.com/maggie_stiefvater/

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10 Ways To Be The Girl Every Guy Wants

A comprehensive do-it-yourself guide to being the girl every guy wants.
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aussymac
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1. Smile all the time.

Guys want to be with girls who are always happy. Men get severely uncomfortable when all the women around them are not Cheshire cat level elated all the fucking time. Why are you mad? Why do you look so pissed? Are you defective? Autopilot your brain to borderline creepy giddiness before men get the idea that you might actually be capable of a full range of human emotion.

2. Be smart.

Men want women to be smart, but never smarter than them. Don’t know or say anything too much about anything specifically – except sports.

3. Eat like a man, look like a lady.

How many burgers can you fit in your mouth at once? Better, even, how many hotdogs? Have the appetite of a grizzly bear, but eat like a cute tiny rabbit, or Kate Upton faking an orgasm. Oh, and never, ever get above a size 4.

4. Play video games.

No guy can resist a girl who loves to play video games (in her underwear). Fifa, 2K, Smash, Kart – know them all. If you can’t at least beat his worst friend at his favorite game, you’re not a keeper.

5. Love beer.

If you can’t throw ‘em back like one of the guys, you’re not wifey. Yeah, that Norwegian IPA no one's ever fucking heard of? You got it. Bud Light? Sure. Fat Tire? You love that shit. Feel free to let out that beer burp while you’re at it, but the burp you’d imagine a Japanese dwarf squirrel would let out after eating rainbows. Oh, and don’t forget, size 4.

6. Be a freak, but also a nun.

We all know that lyric (thank you, Ludacris, so much). Hit those yoga poses hard because he wants you to bust that shit out like you’ve done it before. But you haven’t … right? Have you?!

7. Keep him on his toes.

No man wants a woman who is predictable and boring. Challenge him. Keep him intrigued. Drop an F bomb every now and then. Learn a foreign language in your spare time so that you might give the illusion of being exotic in bed (Slavic languages sound super sexy). Induce yourself into an epileptic seizure. Whatever it takes to keep it interesting.

8. Have quirks.

Ah, quirks. The things that make people unique. The things that make people, people. You must have at least three of these but no more than five. Think relatable Stepford Wife.

9. Be hot.

This is potentially the most important, and luckily I don’t need to tell you how this works. Look at anything. Anywhere. That ever existed.

10. Never, ever get mad.

The worst thing you can do as a woman is challenge a man’s authority. Don’t talk back. Don’t think. Don’t have expectations. Sit. Roll over. Hold the bark.

---

And finally, in the spirit of strong conclusions and remarkably appropriate GIFs:

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr
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15 Thing Only Early 2000's Kids Will Understand

"Get connected for free, with education connection"

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This is it early 2000's babies, a compilation finally made for you. This list is loaded with things that will make you swoon with nostalgia.

1. Not being accepted by the late 90's kids.

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Contrary to what one may think, late 90's and early 00's kids had the same childhood, but whenever a 00's kid says they remember something on an "only 90's kids will understand" post they are ridiculed.

2. Fortune tellers.

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Every day in elementary school you would whip one of these bad boys out of your desk, and proceed to tell all of your classmates what lifestyle they were going to live and who they were going to marry.

3.Bunnicula

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You could never read this book past 8 o'clock at night out of fear that your beloved pet rabbit would come after you.

4. Silly bands.

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You vividly remember begging your parents to buy you $10 worth of cheap rubber bands that vaguely resembles the shape of an everyday object.

5. Parachutes.

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The joy and excitement that washed over you whenever you saw the gym teacher pull out the huge rainbow parachute. The adrenaline that pumped through your veins whenever your gym teacher tells you the pull the chute under you and sit to make a huge "fort".

6. Putty Erasers

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You always bought one whenever there was a school store.

7. iPod shuffle.

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The smallest, least technological iPpd apple has made, made you the coolest kid at the bus stop.

8. "Education Connection"

You knew EVERY wood to the "Education Connection" commercials. Every. Single.Word.

9. " The Naked Brothers Band"

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The "Naked Brothers Band" had a short run on Nickelodeon and wrote some absolute bangers including, "Crazy Car' and "I Don't Wanna Go To School"

10. Dance Dance Revolution

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This one video game caused so many sibling, friend, and parent rivalries. This is also where you learned all of your super sick dance moves.

11. Tamagotchi

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Going to school with fear of your Tamagotchi dying while you were away was your biggest worry.

12. Gym Scooters

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You, or somebody you know most likely broke or jammed their finger on one of these bad boys, but it was worth it.

13. Scholastic book fairs

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Begging your parents for money to buy a new book, and then actually spending it on pens, pencils, erasers, and posters.

14.Go-Gurt

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Who knew that putting yogurt in a plastic tube made it taste so much better?

15. Slap Bracelets

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Your school probably banned these for being "too dangerous".

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