One minute, we're laughing at each other's jokes and playing the air guitar along to a Motley Crue album. One minute, we're talking about life, and where we want it to take each of us. The next minute, you're gone.
"I don't love you anymore" barely rolled off your tongue, but I heard it, I heard it through your staggered breathing and controlled tears. Loud and clear now, you said "it doesn't have any meaning when I say it anymore." Just like that, I was out the door.
But I couldn't make it out the door without a hug.
You didn't hug me back.
I ran to my car, telling myself "he's chasing after you, you're going to go back and he'll hug you." Before opening the door, I looked, you were staring at me, waiting to see what I'd do. I got in, started the car, and just sobbed on my steering wheel, but I pulled away nonetheless, and you were left there with the words that you said and your tears hitting the pavement.
But this isn't my breakup story, this is a thank you to that breakup, because that man made me the happiest person in the world. That man pushed me to do my best, showed me what a proper gentleman truly is, and showed me how to be a better person.
He walked into my life at the most unlikely of times: my rock bottom. A month past and I was sure he was going to leave, but he never did. He stayed with me for another 13 months.
He knew I was struggling; he held me while I cried into his lap when I realized how close I was to moving into my dorm for my first year of college, while he stayed back home- an hour away- to continue high school. But we powered through. Only seeing each other on the weekends made us stronger than ever. It made it all the more special to come home to him with an idea of what we were going to do that weekend in mind.
He was always a phone call or text away, for no matter what reason. When I couldn't possibly do one more hour of studying, he told me to power through, that I'll feel so much more confident with one more hour dedicated to those notes. When I just needed to hear his voice, he was there, he knew that was all I needed; so he talked about his day, his family, his aspirations, even if I already knew some of it, it was still a comfort. Thank you.
I have never met someone raised as well as him: someone who knew that hard work and determination put toward something was worth the success. If he wasn't outside doing something, he felt lazy, and he wouldn't stand for it. We would be outside finding some work to do, or just tossing a baseball around. When I was away at school and wanted to binge watch Grey's Anatomy, I knew better, so I went ahead and studied. And because his work ethic rubbed off on me, I received the best grades I have had in awhile. Thank you.
I have also never met someone who was so nice to anyone he ever encountered. If he knew that a certain someone was not my favorite person, he would lecture me on why we need to appreciate the individuality in everyone. When it came to me and my insecurities, he reminded me whenever I needed it that I was enough. I now think in that sort of mindset, and I never have before I met him. Thank you.
I miss him a lot. I miss him like I have never missed anything before, but I am still so grateful for everything he gave me, and I don't believe that I could ever hurt him out of spite. We promised each other a "forever," which every couple seems to do, but this one felt more real than anything I had ever had the heart for. I do not regret anything for a second, because I finally got to experience what real, valuable, eclectic love felt. Thank you.
It turns out that some of the worst heartbreaks make you see yourself in a different light. Some of the worst heartbreaks will make you see that the love you two shared was all worth it in the end, even if it's not the ending you hoped for.
