Fun-sized, vertically challenged, elfin, petite, homunculus-esque ... it does not matter how you phrase it, those of us 5'4" and under know the painful truth: we are short. There are many, many struggles that come with being a short girl. Whether they are things normal-sized people have said to you far too many times, or whether they are activities rendered near impossible because of your stature (or lack thereof), if you are a member of SGS (Short Girl Society ... I swear it is a thing), you definitely know these struggles.
1. "OMG, you're soooooo short!!!"
Wow. Thank you, Captain Obvious, for opening my eyes to a fact that I was not blatantly aware of. You have enlightened me. Really. Praise be unto you, oh wise one.
2. "Yeah, but you are like, so short."
I get it. I am just so abnormal that your ignorant brain simply cannot handle it. I am short - I am on the lower end of the height spectrum, and that is perfectly fine and normal. Get over it.
3. *baby voice* "Awwwww, you're so cute!!!"
You thought this was a compliment, didn't you? Sure, I am adorable because I am tiny. But what you are insinuating by saying this in that insufferable tone of voice that one would use to talk to an actual baby is that my cuteness is equated to immaturity and juvenility. Tell me I am cute all you want, but stop patronizing me with the baby voice.
4. THIS
Always. Dear designers, please stop charging me for extraneous fabric. You could literally clothe a baby with the extra fabric from my jeans. Whenever I buy jeans, I never wear them until they have been through the wash at least fifty times. Pro tip: the best fitting jeans I have ever gotten were from American Eagle. All hail short sizes!
5. When you just wanted to use the handicapped bathroom stall since it is nice and roomy, but then ...
As if I do not feel like a child enough as it is. Also, do you have any idea how hard it is to pee when your feet do not touch the ground? It messes with all your kegels; it is a disaster. And do not even get me started on pooping. It messes with all your pooping muscles too. It is impossible.
6. The top shelf, a.k.a. the bane of your existence.
One time, I wanted milk from the top shelf of the refrigerator section and I had to wait around for another customer to walk by to ask them for help. It was humiliating.
7. The terrifying experience of hugging an average-sized person.
Or really, just approaching an average-sized person at all. It is a big world out there. Big people are scary.
8. Being a human armrest.
Do not want!
9. Working as a camp counselor/teacher/babysitter/any other job involving kids.
Have you ever tried to assert your authority to kids who have more inches on you than they have in years? It is a hapless and futile endeavor.
10. When someone who is at least 5'4" claims that they are "short."
Do not pretend to know my struggle, you completely average-sized human being.
11. Oops. It appears that this list has come up short.
Just like you.
