Confession: The absolute hardest thing for me to do is trust someone. It’s unfortunate and difficult to deal with, but it’s where I am. I wish I could blame them all on my past relationships which were filled with infidelity, disrespect, and hate, but I can’t. You see, as a young, naïve girl, I chose not to trust. I chose to believe the worst about everyone because that’s safe right? I mean, if I’m expecting the worst and the worst happens, then I’m prepared; and if the best happens, then I’m pleasantly surprised. Either way, I don’t get hurt. To me, not trusting anyone made me invincible. Sounds great right? Well, it’s not.
Now that I have matured I’ve realized what not trusting anyone does. It destroys you as a person. It makes you cynical. Yes, the world can be a scary place, but why be a part of that? I remember my dad telling me that, growing up in New England, he was always taught to be on guard when someone was nice to him. I’m not sure if he and my mom subconsciously raised me this way, or purposefully did, but I’ve found myself responding in the same fashion to those nice to me. When strangers approach me and start conversation, my immediate thought is: Okay, when is this person going to stab me. My past relationships, where my boyfriends promised love and only delivered pain, confirmed this notion, but did not establish it.
I understand both sides of my dual personality. I like not getting hurt. Who doesn’t? But, if not getting hurt means sacrificing basic human decency, kindness, and respect, then is it really worth it? There are horrible people out there, and those who are kind to you do not always have good intentions, but that’s not on you. The way I see it, if we believe the best in people, forgive, empathize, and love, then we are doing the right thing. If they decide to take advantage of that generosity, then let them do so, and more importantly, let them go. I truly believe that what goes around comes around and you will see a brighter day than them.
From someone who has been let down countless times, destroyed mentally, and felt like the world was against me, I can tell you that not trusting anyone is not beneficial. ‘I can’t help it, I’ve been hurt too much’—I’ve heard it countless times, mainly from yours truly. Trusting is a choice. It’s your choice. You can blame your trust issues on past lovers, parents, friends, or whoever you want to, but honestly it’s all on you. I had to come to this realization as well. My advice to everyone with trust issues is to see the best in others always. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Now, don’t let them walk all over you, but don’t assume people are the devil just because they made a mistake or hurt you. Choose to trust. Let the douchebags be douchebags and move on. Find people you can trust. Don’t give up, they’re out there. I didn’t believe it once too, but there are genuinely good people out there—you can trust me on that one.
