Once my boyfriend of over two years and myself decided to go to college together, we got questions, innuendos, and comments surrounding our relationship. Below are some direct quotes from people who didn’t quite understand my decision and my very candid responses that I was often too passive to give before.
“Ohh… so you’re like following him to college?”
Uhm, no, I am not. I got into college because I do have the capacity to use my own brain so I can make my own decisions. Coming to Alabama was a decision based on finances, academic programs, and personal happiness, in that order. And yes, if you’re wondering my boyfriend is included in the personal happiness category, but he was not the most important factor in my decision making. There were many pro/con lists made in the process of my decision.
“People should really explore who they are in college..." *sidelong glance*
Well thank you for that unsolicited opinion, and I plan on doing just that. I think part of having a healthy relationship is doing things separately. Being in a committed relationship may prevent me from exploring the lively dynamics of the college dating scene (which let’s be real, I don’t seem to be missing much), but it does not prevent me from joining clubs, taking interesting classes, having exciting opportunities or meeting new people.
“When are you ever going to be on your own?”
In college. That is when I will be on my own (As much as most everyone in college is on their own in a way that still relies on their parents for emotional and financial support). I buy my own yogurt, schedule my own doctor’s appointments, and wake up for class on time all by myself. These are the things that are generally included in the whole idea of being on your own and not having your parent there to take care of you.
“I’m going to laugh so hard when they break up.”
*Silence*. I really have no response to these people as that bridge has already been burned but if the only way you can be happy is to root for other people’s failure then that’s your problem. This was quite possibly the hardest reality check as I realized many people my own age didn’t just not relate to my situation but also weren’t supportive of it. I had some of the people who I thought were my closest friends rooting for me to fail and I learned to deal with it by only accepting people into my life who I knew would cheer me on even if they didn’t really understand.
“Don’t you feel like you’re missing out on the normal college experience?”
I truly never feel like I’m missing out. Single or not, I’m not the mingling, party type anyhow. I also feel like the idea of a “normal college experience” is a myth because "normal" is subjective, and no two people experience things the same way. I mostly just feel extremely lucky that I get to go through college with someone who’s known me since sophomore year of high school and who I can be myself with.
I know being in a serious relationship so young doesn’t make sense for many people or doesn’t work out for others, but the way I look at it is that being young is about having experiences and discovering who you are. Even if for one reason or another my relationship comes to an end, I will have grown from the experience and have made amazing memories along the way. Mostly, it makes me happy, and isn’t that the whole point?
