I know you feel like I dropped you like a bad habit, but in reality I just needed to collect myself.

I didn't intend to hurt your feelings. I never wanted you to be upset. I know I've been distant, and none of that has to do with you.

Over the the time I've been locked away, things have happened and I needed to figure things out. I needed to find out how to be happy again. You are my happy place, and I need you to stay that way. After all, I do love you.

I left hints that I would be OK, and that I needed to work on me. I needed to wallow in my self-pity for a bit so I could find me again. I get so lost in the world that sometimes that's harder than I could imagine.

I needed to cry, because those tears needed to be shed. I needed to reflect on the events, so I could fully understand what was going on. Most importantly, I needed to find me.

Although that journey has been ongoing since my angsty teen years, it's still one I need to continue. To truly be happy, you have to first find out who you are. To be honest I'm still not there.

I've been trying to look deep within and find out who I am. I want to find out my true likes and dislikes, and for some reason I can't. It's as if I'm an empty shell who goes through the motions.

I'm the person who always says yes, and I feel as if I'm never allowed to say no. I won't allow myself to be selfish. In the long run, I feel like that's what gets me hurt. I always push my feelings aside and worry about the issues of others. It's taking a toll on me. I have been and always will be there for you all, and that will never change. But I do need to think about me.

I'm not saying you are never there for me, because I know you have been and will always be.

I need to find out what I want in life. I need to decide where this life is going to take me. I can no longer not think about me. I need to show the me kept deep down that it deserves a chance to breathe.

I need to find my beauty, my peace of mind, and my happiness. I need to find out who I am.

I need you to be there; I need you to love me. I need you to be supportive in my endeavors. By no means am I pushing you out of my life.

I feel like life is passing me by and that I haven't lived. I need to experience things and enjoy what little time I have here. I want you there step for step, because you are a part of me. You helped me get this far, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I owe you many things. Respect, love, honesty, and most importantly, I owe you my life.

Please understand, it's truly me and not you.