The holidays are finally here, which is very exciting. But this year, it's different. Three very important people will be missing from the festivities physically, but I still feel them with every ornament we hang up, every carol we sing, and every present we buy.
Christmas this year isn't going to feel the same at all. We won't have to scour every store in the county to find a chocolate orange. We won't have to make a last-minute run to the store to pick up chocolate-covered cherries. I won't be celebrating my previously shared birthday with anyone else. We won't hear a jingle bell running around the house. And I hate it.
I think part of my excitement for the holidays lies in that the sooner they get here, the sooner they will be over. I've never been good with change, and though I feel your absence from my life every day, I know the holidays will be even more difficult.
As we sat around the Thanksgiving table this year, we told stories of trips to the mountains. How you drove thirty miles out of the way to get me the last Backstreet Boys CD. How you were the only one who could remove splinters without it hurting, the time you locked the key in the cabin and had to climb through the window. How much you loved us staying at your house Christmas Eve night so you could see what Santa brought us the next morning, and how you would wear any stupid hat or antlers we could find.
We put up the Christmas tree and found all of the ornaments you made for us over the years, hand-carved and painted. There were a lot of tears as we tried to fathom not having you here.
But I thank you for teaching me the lessons that you left me with. I thank you for teaching me over and over again to value the time that I do have with my family. I thank you for teaching me that the holidays are also a time for gathering together and truly appreciating everything and everyone we have in our lives.
Overall, I know that this is probably going to be the most difficult holiday season of my life, but I also think it will be one of the most important. It is going to do a lot for teaching me to lean on my family during difficult situations. It will teach me about continuing to keep going, even when things get hard. It will teach me that not everything works out the way that you hope it will.
So, I want to thank you guys for continuing to teach me lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. And I want to encourage everyone who is missing someone this holiday season to gather closer to those who are there for them.
