To start this off, please know that none of this is your fault in any way. None of you are to blame for this chemical imbalance in my brain. I know you probably don’t understand, and have a lot of questions. I hope this answers them for you.

First of all, I hid this from all of you for a lot of reasons. Depression and its dark cousin Anxiety have such negative connotations to them. I don’t want you to think that I’m another one of those people that claim to have such a terrible thing. I’ve been battling depression for a while now, and I am okay. There are days when it’s a struggle for me to get out of bed, and days where I have a dark cloud over my head. However, there are days when I am genuinely happy and don’t have to worry about the sadness looming around me.

Depression isn’t something that just goes away, and most of the time I can’t control when the sadness comes and goes. No, it isn’t “all in my head” and no I can’t make it go away whenever I want. I wish that I didn’t have to feel like this, and I wish that I didn’t have to tell you about my personal struggles, but it’s something that has been a part of me for a long time now.

Please know that your love and helpfulness is what gets me through my days when I’m struggling. Don’t be offended if sometimes I just need to stay inside and watch movies instead of being around a lot of people I don’t know. There are times that I will need you to drag me out of bed and make me do something so I don’t see the four walls of my room for an entire day. There’s a difference between letting this take over my life, and also living with it.

I’m living with depression and anxiety, and I will not let it take over my life. I need your help and support every day, but I don’t need your pity or empathy, or misunderstanding. Don’t treat me any differently than you have been. I’m still me, I have always been me. Dealing with my depression has made me put on a mask because I wasn’t comfortable sharing it with everyone. Now, I’m ready because it’s time to stand up to this sadness, and live my life the way that I need to live it.