April 2014: I was a month away from high school graduation. I had been accepted to the college of my dreams. I had a fun summer planned: camp counseling, hanging with friends, orientation and reading books that weren't required. However, I had been dealing with anxiety since about my sophomore year in high school, and it only got worse each year. I knew that I had to tell my parents how I was feeling before I moved out of their house into the unknown, so I did. They were very understanding, and we set up a doctor's appointment. Then I had to go to a testing with a psychologist. I was, then, diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I wasn't shocked, but I was very upset. I didn't want to fall victim to the stigma that was having a mental illness. My mom, again, was understanding, and we went back to my general doctor. He told me my best option was medication. I wanted no part of that, but since he was the doctor I've had since middle school, I reluctantly agreed.
About 30 minutes later, I was at my local grocery store pharmacy getting my medication. I was so embarrassed. I felt like they would judge me and see me as unstable and for lack of a better term, a freak. I was so self-conscious and did not want anyone to know. Then when I started taking them, I felt so much better. My world opened up. I did not feel as bothered by the things that used to trigger my anxiety. I felt more enjoyment. I wanted to be more social, and I did not feel guilty as easily as I once did. Later, I learned that so many people are on medication for OCD, depression, anxiety and other unseen disorders. I am not self-conscious anymore. However, there is still stigma about taking the medicine route to kill mental illness, and it needs to stop right now.
I have seen memes with a picture of nature and a picture of a pill saying that the former is how mental illness is cured. No. That can't be further from the truth. If just going outside took away my symptoms, I would not have had to go through everything I have. I like spending time outside as much as the next person. Heck, I was a camp counselor, and I loved every second of it.
There is also stigma in religious settings about taking medicine to relieve mental illness. "You don't need meds. You need Jesus." Just stop. I am a devout Christian, and God is who actually got me to speak to my parents in the first place. I hate how talking about struggling with depression and anxiety is taboo in a place where you should be able to be yourself.
I am very much aware that medication is not for everyone. Not everyone should have it. I am not saying to steal someone's prescription if you feel sad. Go to the doctor, and tell him/her how you have been feeling. It will be worth your while, and if you feel comfortable, talk to your family and friends. Please help eliminate the stigma for good.
