Unfortunately, the talk about rape culture and sexual assault is already being dismissed. I can’t say I’m surprised but I can say I’m upset. This is normally how it goes with these topics, a high-profile case will be plastered all over the media for a couple weeks, people get riled up and then the issue and any other issue relating to it seemingly disappears. Yes, what Brock Allen did to this woman was unspeakably horrendous but this happens all the time, 1 in 5 times to women and 1 in 17 times to men, not to mention the heightened amount in the LGBTQ+ community. This needs to be addressed, not just when it reaches the media, but until rape culture is eliminated.
Rape culture is a culture where rape is normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality. Women are seen as objects, men strive to reach an ideal concept of ‘masculinity’, and our culture doesn’t feel comfortable with people who identify with different sexualities or genders. Because of all of this an epidemic has taken over, one in which rape and abuse are seen as the norm and if you make it out of this life unharmed you’re seen as one of the ‘lucky ones’.
One of the first things that needs to be done is erasing the term “consensual sex” this implies that there is another form of sex, “non-consensual sex” that’s not sex, that’s rape. Address it as ‘rape’. I understand rape is an ugly word, it took me awhile to be able to say it out loud and use it comfortably but it’s something that needs to be done.
Next and perhaps the most important to address is victim blaming. Being a woman I have always been told not to show too much cleavage, ass or skin. I’ve constantly been told I need to hide my body from men because they can’t handle it and may take advantage because they can’t “help themselves”. After all ‘boys will be boys’. I’ve been told to carry a pocket knife, pepper spray and to have 911 on speed dial if I walk home alone at night or anywhere at night. I’ve been told to watch my drink, don’t drink enough to impair my judgement and to always go to the bathroom with a buddy. We’ve been taught not to be raped rather than teaching don’t rape, because after all, ‘boy will be boys’ until we teach them to be more.
I should address men are not the only one’s who rape, nor do all men rape. Women aren’t the only one’s who are raped; men, women and all members of the LGBTQ+ community can be raped and no part of this article is meant to say otherwise.
We need to start a lot sooner addressing consent than when we teach it now. I really didn’t hear anything about sexual consent hardcore until my first year of college, which is very scary. Sex education in school was a joke, parents were able to opt their children out of it and make them leave to another classroom to do whatever they wanted. The kids who stayed would be separated by gender and then get a quick, uncomfortable lecture followed by an animated movie that nearly everyone slept through or talked through. We need to teach consent for everything, from playing together on the playground to having sex. The younger we start teaching kids about consent the more people will know about consent and that if someone says no, the answer is simply no.
Honestly, I don’t think there is anything simpler than not raping. I’m doing it right now, the men next to me at the coffee shop I’m sitting at writing this article aren’t raping either. You literally don’t need to do anything but not rape to well, not rape.
As an activist I won’t rest until rape culture is eliminated, until rape and assault aren’t the ‘norm’ and the people that aren’t raped aren’t considered the ‘lucky ones’. It shouldn’t be seen as ‘lucky’ to not be raped or abused, that should be the norm, it should be expected that we can go through life without being harmed. Join the fight to end rape culture.
