I have seen it firsthand. I know exactly what you are going through. Being a 16-17-year-old girl who once thought she was his everything, to now believing she is nothing, I know where you are. You are probably feeling lost and broken. You don’t understand how you can give and give just to get your heart taken from you, and you blame yourself because as we all know, it is never the boy. I am not writing this to bash anyone’s exes, including my own, but I am however, writing this to inform how it is time the younger generation of women had a revamp and a new feeling on how relationships are supposed to be.
Our life has been taken over by social media in the last years and for some that is all they know. Relationship goals have become “he posts about me,” and “he bought me this,” instead of “he’s loyal” and “he respects me.” We have gotten so caught up on what looks good on Facebook instead of what feels good in our hearts. We have become a generation to cut corners and lower expectations just to keep what feels like a good thing, going. I have seen several relationships be “okay” with other girls just because they know who at the end of the day he wants to be with. There is a difference between being a “Ride Or Die” and being “Walked All Over.” The meaning of this phrase “ride or die” is something we miss use daily. It is a term that is supposed to refer to always being there for someone and it has turned into sticking with someone when they do you wrong time and time again. Now, I am not saying people don’t make mistakes, trust me, we all do. But when deciding how many chances you allow yourself to give, take into consideration the amount of effort they return to you after forgiving them. The moment we allow a person to come back in our lives after so many hurtful actions have been made, is the moment we begin to lose sight in ourselves.
The biggest problem these low relationship expectations cause is lower self- esteem. Girls naturally have low confidence to begin with, but when you’re with boy who makes you feel as if you’re easy to leave, how you feel about yourself plummets. When a boy makes you feel replaceable, it’s really hard to get that feeling out of your head. Do not let a boy determine how you view yourself. A quality boyfriend will not make you feel as if you’re in competition with other girls. He should make you feel like the only girl. I know what it is like to feel this way, and it takes a while to find that self-confidence again. We need to start understanding how amazing we are and start setting our own standards for ourselves rather than other people setting them for us.
No one is perfect. Not you, not the guy you will date, and not me even though I am writing this right now. Imagine though, how effective this would be, if every young girl started respecting themselves enough to know they need someone who sees their self-worth as much as they do. The moment we stop comparing our relationships to what we see on Twitter and Facebook is the moment we realize how beautiful having a healthy relationship of our own can be. No one can decide what is best for you but you, so love yourself enough to know what you deserve.
