(Brace yourself. I’ve know that I tend to be a little harsh when I’m trying to get a point through, so if I’ve offended you, I’m sorry.)
Let’s face it - we’ve all been hurt before. We’ve all had our hearts broken by some guy, girl, or the angel of death. But WHY does it hurt when someone leaves us? Think about it. It’s because we were attached to that person, to some degree, even if we don't want to admit it. And that’s exactly what we’re NOT supposed to be doing. We’re not supposed to be attached to anything. Each and every one of us was born alone and that's how we will leave. We didn’t enter this world with our brothers, sisters, our parents, or our kids. We each have a set amount of time, here on Earth, separate from everyone else’s. So what makes us think that when it's our time to go, that we’re going to leave with our loved ones? We’re not. Sure, they’ll come to our funeral, but that’s about it. They stop right there; they don’t enter your casket with you.
The thought of being alone is scary, but that's reality and it's something that nobody wants to face. So we keep finding things to stop the pain temporarily. We find solace in alcohol, cigarettes, material things, and other people. Today, I'm going to share some of my favorite quotes with you from a book called "Reclaim your Heart" by Yasmin Mogahed. It's written from an Islamic standpoint, but many non-Muslims that have read the book told me it helped them as much as it helped me. I hope you find these quotes insightful as well.
1. Allah gives us gifts, but then we come to love them as we should only love Him. We take those gifts and inject them into our hearts, until they take over. Soon we cannot live without them. Every waking moment is spent in contemplation of them, in submission and worship to them. The mind and the heart that was created by Allah, for Allah, becomes the property of someone or something else. And then the fear comes. The fear of loss begins to cripple us. The gift—that should have remained in our hands—takes over our heart, so the fear of losing it consumes us. Soon, what was once a gift becomes a weapon of torture and a prison of our own making. How can we be freed of this? At times, in His infinite mercy, Allah frees us…by taking it away. As a result of it being taken, we turn to Allah wholeheartedly. In that desperation and need, we ask, we beg, we pray. Through the loss, we reach a level of sincerity and humility and dependence on Him which we would otherwise not reach—had it not been taken from us. Through the loss, our hearts turn entirely to face Him.”
2. “As much as you can, keep dunya (worldly life) in your hand--not in your heart. That means when someone insults you, keep it out of your heart so it doesn't make you bitter or defensive. When someone praises you, also keep it out of your heart, so it doesn't make you arrogant and self-deluded. When you face hardship and stress, don't absorb it in your heart, so you don't become hopeless and overwhelmed. Instead keep it in your hands and realize that everything passes. When you're given a gift by God, don't hold it in your heart. Hold it in your hand so that you don't begin to love the gift more than the giver. And so that when it is taken away you can truly respond with 'inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon': 'indeed we belong to God, and to God we return'.”
3. “We must also realize that nothing happens without a purpose. Nothing. Not even broken hearts. Not even pain. That broken heart and that pain are lessons and signs for us. They are warnings that something is wrong. They are warnings that we need to make a change. Just like the pain of being burned is what warns us to remove our hand from the fire, emotional pain warns us that we need to make an internal change. We need to detach. Pain is a form of forced detachment. Like the loved one who hurts you again and again and again, the more dunya hurts us, the more we inevitably detach from it. The more we inevitably stop loving it.”
4. “Think for a moment about an emergency siren. What is its purpose? The siren is an indication and a warning that something harmful is coming. If we hear it, we naturally panic. But what happens when they need to test the siren? What happens when it’s just a drill to see how we will react? The test siren sounds exactly the same, but it is “only a test.” Although it looks, sounds, and feels real, it is not. It is only a test. And we’re reminded of that again and again throughout the test. This is exactly what Allah tells us about this life. It is going to look, sound, and feel very, very real. At times it’s going to scare us. At times it’s going to make us cry. At times it’s going to make us flee, instead of standing firm—even more firm—in our places. But this life and everything in it is only a test. It is not actually real. And like that test of the emergency broadcast system; it is training us for what is real.”
5. “They say you don’t get over someone until you find someone or something better. As humans, we don’t deal well with emptiness. Any empty space must be filled. Immediately. The pain of emptiness is too strong. It compels the victim to fill that place. A single moment with that empty spot causes excruciating pain. That’s why we run from distraction to distraction—and from attachment to attachment.”
I know what you're thinking--those were probably the longest quotes you've ever read, but boy, were they worth it! Just kidding, I hope that's what you're thinking. But seriously, comment below and tell me if you found them helpful and if you did, pick up this book!
