We all had this idea of what we were going to do with our lives and who we would be. Not to mention the life that we would create for ourselves on the daily versus the one that we saw for ourselves in the future. We have these big dreams that we hold close to our realities. I remember being a young child and listening to my fellow peers' destinies that they were sure they would fulfill for themselves. For many, this includes the career path that they may choose to take. I remember not knowing what I ever really wanted to do. Did I want to teach the next generation of presidents, doctors and lawyers the ABC’s, or maybe I would enjoy delivering life into this beautiful world, how about having an office on the 22nd floor of one tree in the corporate concrete jungle?
I saw possibility.
I see possibility.
I may not have known exactly what I was going to do but I saw a life of comfort, fulfillment, love and success. I knew that whatever I chose to do it would encompass these things. Little did my extra young and naive self-know that this life that I saw for myself wouldn’t always be able to encompass all of these qualities. In order to learn, I had to feel discomfort. In order to know what it was like to be fulfilled, I had to feel empty inside for a little bit. To feel this love that was talked about I experienced some pain. In order to be successful, I experienced failure.
What I am getting at is, that we may not have seen the steps we got to take in order to get where we are now. We may not have realized what it would take, who it would take and the time it would take. As we followed our journey, we may have had this expectation that ended up not even being the dream. Instead, we went in this completely different direction to the destination we find ourselves in now.
I didn’t see myself withdrawing from college, to go back and flunk out to then getting all A’s the following semester. I didn’t see myself packing up my home in the duration of two days and moving back in with my mother. I did not see myself falling so deeply in love with a place that I once despised. I didn’t see myself as one that was scared to leave things and people, but there I was holding on.
I now see that by holding onto that expectation of this life I deserved, I got lost in the steps along the way because it wasn’t unfolding the way I wanted it to. It wasn’t always pretty, I got tired, overwhelmed and frustrated. Not only that, I forgot that anything was possible as long as I was open to what the world had to offer me (which is a lot). By holding onto that expectation I was restricting myself. I only thought in the confounds of that idea I held so close to my heart.
Now, what I see of my everyday life and the future that it holds is even more lovely then what I had created in my mind.
Look in the mirror, you may not see what you're expecting, but I bet you that your reflection holds greatness for you that you don’t even realize.
Let that magic happen.
