If you’re looking for a sign not to kill yourself – this is it. Put down the gun, the pills and take a step back from the bathroom sink and look at the face staring back at you. Look deep into your eyes, so deep that you can see your purpose. Maybe you can’t see this purpose yourself, which is okay, so let me explain it to you.
You are on this earth for a reason. Maybe that reason is to be an amazing friend. Maybe this reason is to be someone’s significant other. Maybe this reason is to go to school and become a nurse and change countless lives. Maybe this reason is to be a teacher, or a writer, or a lawyer.
Maybe this reason is to find yourself. Odds are, there are unlimited reasons why you are here – you are here to be someone’s boyfriend, someone’s best friend, someone’s daughter. But more than that, you are on this earth to be yourself and to change the world with your presence. Nothing would be the same if you were not here, and nothing will be the same if you decide to leave.
If nothing can keep you holding on, think about the person you care about the most and how they would react to hearing you decided to take your own life. Keep pushing on for them, and in doing that you are pushing on for yourself.
I want you to know something – what you are feeling is valid. Your depression is valid. Your anxiety is valid. The feeling that you no longer want to be alive is valid. It is okay to feel anything you feel, and if these feelings overpower you, do whatever it is you need to do to safely cope with these feelings. Go for a walk. Call up your best friend. Seek professional help. Find your safe coping mechanism and execute it.
Think about all your reasons to keep going on. Maybe it’s the cup of coffee that you have waiting on you tomorrow morning. Maybe it’s a visit from your older sister you’ve had planned for months now. Maybe it’s a date night with the love of your life. Or, maybe it’s just listening to your favorite song in the car on the way to work or eating your favorite pasta for dinner.
Even if it seems like a small thing, if it keeps you pushing, it is a big thing. Think about all these reasons not to pull the trigger. Look back in your reflection in the mirror. Think about your purpose again. (But if you cannot find it, that’s okay, too. One day you will.)
Life gets better. It’s the biggest cliché in the book but it is accurate. With time, you will fight whatever demons are holding you down. I’m not saying you will wake up one day and magically all of your demons will have been fought, it’s not that easy. But it is possible. Time is the best medicine and if nothing else can keep buying you more time, think of your reasons to keep going on. There are millions.
Your struggle is relevant. You are not alone. Reach out to a trusted friend, a family member, a professor, your neighbor. Reach out to a professional. Reach out to whoever you trust and whoever you feel most comfortable with. They may not be able to solve your problems, but I promise you they will help you fight them. Any battle fought with the help of someone you love is a much stronger battle than anything you may fight alone…although you are capable of fighting this alone, too. Life will never throw something to you that you cannot handle.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please refer them to the following resources. Help is out there.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-TALK
Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Drug & Alcohol Treatment Hotline: 800-662-HELP
Trevor HelpLine (for members of the LGBT community): 800-662-HELP
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE
Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
