In high school, I was always the girl that had a boyfriend. This trend started my freshman year and continued throughout my entire high school experience. I always either had a boyfriend or a guy I was hooking up with—always something, but never nothing. Of course, there were times I would go a month or two without really being interested in anyone, but for the most part, I always had a boy in my life.

Shortly after graduation, my most recent high school relationship ended, and I took advantage of my new surroundings. I figured college was my time to explore all the new things being presented to me. It was my time to be free and figure out exactly who I wanted to be. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy but I figured, everyone does it and so could I. Instead, I did what I do best and within the first few months of being at school, I got involved with someone new. “Good job,” I told myself. I did exactly what I had promised myself I wouldn’t do and embarked on a new relationship. Eventually, that new relationship ran its course and came to an end shortly before winter break.

I came back for the second semester telling myself exactly what I had told myself when I first arrived at college, “Find yourself and do you.” Finally, for the first time in my life, I did exactly that.

The second semester of my freshman year of college was definitely one for the books. I made new friends. I joined a sorority. I took an interest in my classes. I went to the gym. I went to the library. I spent countless hours with my new and old friends. I did things I’d always wanted to do. For the first time, in the 19 years of my life, I was single, and I realized something: It was okay.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t regret any of my past relationships or hookups. I don’t regret the boyfriends I said goodbye to, the one-month flings, or the boys I flirted with while I was out and never pursued. I don’t regret any of it. I think each and every interaction and relationship I’ve had in the past 19 years was influential, and dare I say, somewhat, meaningful. Each one of them taught me something, not only about the boy I was with, but about myself, as well.

I finally learned that I am strong, I am independent, and I am not afraid to be myself. I kind of already knew all of those things but I used to need a boy to validate them. I now know that I am those things not because some boy said it, but because I realized it myself. I learned that I will appreciate myself more than any boy ever will. I learned that I have a big heart and care way too much, which to some people could be seen as a bad thing. But I don’t care. For the first time in 19 years, I’m single, and I'm okay with it.

I encourage you, all the girls (and guys) searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right and complaining to your friends about wanting a significant other, to instead find yourself. Make sure you know who you are because trying to find someone who loves you when you can’t love yourself is a difficult task. Always remember it’s great to be in a relationship, but it’s also okay to be single.