I have been taking a lot of time to process everything that has gone on in my life over the past six months. In the beginning of March, my friends and I were enjoying our final semester, hearing murmurs here and there of what would become the COVID-19 pandemic. By the end of March, it was evident that this was a crisis way bigger than ourselves and losing our last few months of our college experience was minor compared to the lives affected and lost.
By mid-April, reality truly started to kick in as the coronavirus started to affect more and more people, including some of peers and their families, and the entire world seemed to be shutting down. My dad's store began adjusting to the "new norm," implementing new ideas in order to keep an income as a non-essential business, my brother hadn't left the tiny New York apartment he'd been cooped up in for weeks- the stress was clearly kicking in and it was apparent. Graduation, to me, had become less and less important, regardless of the accomplishments of myself and my peers, a major milestone. I have felt so indifferent about celebrating myself when the world is constantly hurting. Now it is June, and the focus has shifted to the Black Lives Matter movement and crisis that has taken our nation by storm. I have been actively engaged in standing with the black community, signing petitions, donating, and educating myself each day. I made a protest sign, saying "Only love can conquer hate. Black lives matter is NOT a debate." And I stand by that, as I cannot fathom why equality and justice for human beings is even a question.
It is 2020, and we are living through a major chapter in a history textbook.
With all that the world has experienced in less than a six month period, it is evident that there are THREE crises occurring simultaneously, each of major importance: the COVID-19 pandemic, the Black Lives Matter movement, and the mental health epidemic that may not be formally acknowledged by the government or society as a true issue, but is very, very real.
What is going on in the world right now, is not normal. Wearing masks in public is not normal. Questioning whether or not school will be in person is not normal. Police brutality and the racial injustice that is experienced is not normal. Small businesses struggling more than usual is not normal. Whatever routine you have gotten into to create your "new normal," is not normal.
That being said, I think it is important that we all take a step back for a moment and understand that every single person's mental health is suffering whether they admit to it or not. Taking a few hours, an entire day, or even a week to yourself is more than okay, and honestly, valid and deserved. Rather than blowing off, ignoring, or making excuses for your anger, sadness, confusion, anxieties, etc., it is crucial to acknowledge these feelings and allow yourself to feel them. We must recognize that the time we are living in, right here, right now, is not normal.
Being kind to yourself and others is important now more than ever. Understand that you are doing the best you can, each and every day. If getting out of bed and brushing your teeth today was all you could do, that is okay. If you stayed in bed all day, whether the sun was out or not, that is okay. It is OKAY to take a break for yourself. Especially in today's day and age with social media and news at our fingertips, it is increasingly challenging to totally log off and take a breathe. It is SO important that we are patient with one another and rather than scolding someone for not answering their phones for a few hours, or not making a post every hour, that we are understanding and are unconditionally there for one another. Normalize asking each other "How are you doing today?" Normalize saying "I love you." Let someone know you HEAR them, you are LISTENING, and you are there fore them. It is very easy to get lost in the chaos and lose hope and trust in your peers. It is very easy to jump to the conclusion that with everything going on, the way you are feeling is unjustified and would be a burden to someone else. Do not let the weight of the world drown out the importance of yourself. You are more than justified in your feelings, and the second we all acknowledge that our feelings and emotions are not a burden, we can together begin to heal.
You are NOT a bad person for taking a day off to organize your thoughts and emotions. Everyone is mourning the loss of life as it was a short six months ago. THIS DOES NOT TAKE AWAY FROM BLM: all lives cannot matter until black lives matter, and I cannot emphasize the need for action and change enough. Yet, you cannot begin to help someone else if you do not first help yourself. You cannot begin to love someone else if you do not first love yourself.
We are seeing small improvements each and everyday, with flattening the curve and investigations of racist acts reopened. These are small victories that are occurring that do matter. The positivity and light that will come from this storm will be beyond our wildest dreams.
We must continue to normalize the conversation of mental health because of the climate of today's world leaves so much room for hate, arguments, and conflict- much of which can be prevented if we are more understanding that these are cries for help from within. We must continue to listen, support, and stand with each other. Have more empathy. Spread love and kindness. And remember: only love can conquer hate, and love starts at the individual level. Go offline, take a few deep breaths, and practice patience and kindness within yourself. Your mind and body will thank you. Inhale, exhale, and take a moment to celebrate the small victories that come with each day. Mental health is real, and while life right now may not be normal, and at times may not even feel real, the feelings you are experiencing are. Together, through love, kindness, compassion, and patience, we will overcome.
