If I had to highlight one of my biggest weaknesses, I think I'd go with my inability to make decisions. No matter the situation, I always find myself conflicted between what's best for me in the long run and what I think's best for me in that moment. Too often do I call my mom throughout the day for her opinion on which brand of bread I should buy, or if I should pick up more shifts at work. I just always want to make the best choices for myself, and like any other human being, I sometimes struggle with knowing what the best choices are.

This weakness has gotten me into a pickle more than a couple of times, sending me into my own little world of indecisive panic. As a senior in high school, picking out which university I would attend was a long-awaited nightmare. I knew no matter what school I picked, I would always wonder if I made the wrong choice. I didn't want to spend my college career asking myself, "Well what if I'm not in the right place?" I chose the school I thought would be the best fit for me and began my college experience with a closed mind. While I was there, I let my indecisive fears get the best of me, and that kept me from truly enjoying and appreciating all that university had to offer. I wasn't as involved as I should have been and I found myself spending all of my spare time on weekends at a neighboring college. I kept my mind and heart closed and never gave my first university a chance.

At the end of my freshman year, I was so convinced I had made the wrong choice in picking my own university. I began to look into transferring to the neighboring school completely. I figured, if I was spending all of my time at this neighboring school anyway, why wouldn't I just transfer and save myself all the gas money? Once again, my inconclusive heart was drawn to make another drastic decision. I chose to transfer, still unsure if this new school would be the right fit. Much to my dismay, it was not.

You know that old saying, "You always want what you can't have."? Yeah, you might as while put that on my gravestone. I quickly found that this new school was the opposite of what I needed. The massive size made me feel like just another drop in in a vast ocean, and the heavy affiliation with Greek life didn't seem to be the right kind of environment for me. I found myself longing for the comfort of my old school. I missed the friends I had made and the tight-knit community feel of it all. By the time I realized I had made a mistake in transferring schools, I was already a semester deep at the new one. It was time to start scheduling classes for the next school year, and I knew I couldn't stay somewhere where I truly wasn't happy. We truly are products of our environments, and I didn't want to let myself fall into a depression being unhappy with where I was.

Once again, I debated with myself for a long time on what the best choice would be in the long run. I knew if I transferred back to my old school, I would look like a fool to pretty much everyone. What kind of person bounces back and fourth between two schools over a span of three years? The answer to that question is me, I'm that kind of person. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that anyone's opinion that wasn't mine, wasn't relevant. I know the kinds of things people think about me, and I simply couldn't care less. I'm a young woman who cares enough about her mental health to make a change when a change is needed. I know I don't always make the right decisions the first time around but I'm learning more and more all the time that it's okay to make mistakes and be unsure of yourself. I'm young, and I have a lot of things to learn. Sure, sometimes I wish I would have saved myself the trouble and just stayed at my first school, but if I hadn't transferred schools in the first place, I would have never learned to appreciate something that's right in front of me.

Now, I'm more sure than I've ever been that I've made the right choice to go back to my first school. I can't wait to go back and experience all of the things I didn't make time for the first time around. I may be indecisive, but I care about myself and I want to put myself in the healthiest/most positive environment possible. I will always put my own happiness first.