Relationships are not simple and certainly not perfect. They are full of ups and downs. I truly think that being in a relationship is one of the most testing things life has to offer. Yet, they can be one of the best things as well. The troubling thing is, for whatever reason, many people believe they need a relationship in their life.
The simple answer is this: no one needs a relationship. Saying that to someone won’t make them understand or believe it though. So, let’s logically think about this. Why would someone think they need a relationship? Maybe it’s because they have always been in relationships and it's normal to them; maybe it’s because they are afraid to be alone or independent; or maybe it’s because they have been alone for so long that they think they need someone to be happy.
While all of those thoughts are understandable, they are not healthy. First of all, if you break up with someone and then immediately start pursuing other people and looking for a relationship, something is wrong. Independence might be a tough thing, especially if you have been with someone for so long, but it’s really what life is all about until you meet “the one.” Even still, you shouldn’t completely rely on someone to fulfill your happiness. Why not? Well, what if the relationship ends? Then, your identity is solely relied on who you were with that person, and you will literally have to find out who you are as an individual.
You should constantly be finding out who you are, what you are passionate about and what you believe in. Having alone time each day is very crucial to being self-aware and independent. The bottom line for understanding yourself is that you have to listen to your emotions. If you are always concerned about someone else’s well-being, you won’t have the time or energy to worry about your own.
Being independent and figuring out who you are doesn’t always mean being without a relationship. There are ways to do both. The important thing to realize is that if you think you need a relationship, you probably aren’t ready for one. Additionally, if you are looking for one, you probably aren’t going to find it.
Relationships can be amazing and incredible. I understand why people want a significant other and to be in love. Being in love for the first time is mind-blowing. I would compare it to going on a plane for the first time like you didn’t think it was possible. One of my favorite quotes about love is, “love is sh*tty because it’s also the best thing ever and it’s equally bad because it’s also equally as good.” Everyone deserves a relationship, it just might not be the right time.
You are going to get into a relationship when you least expect it, and I promise it will be amazing. Love is something you can't plan for and you can’t try to find, but it is out there for you. There are many people who are ready for a relationship, but just haven't found it yet; the one is just waiting to find you. So make sure you are ready for a relationship, and it will happen.
