Whether we like it or not, some of us are just more maternal than others. And our tendency to take care of the random crying drunk girl in the bathroom has inevitably earned us the title of "mom" on more than one occasion. So here's to the unsung heroes of every party and date function- just remember, you're not like other moms, you're a cool mom.

1. How to deal with even the most hysterical bathroom drama.

From gassing the sobbing girl's ex-boyfriend to holding back the hair of a freshman who snuck past the bouncers, you can handle it all without spilling a sip of your gin and tonic.

2. How to fix any wardrobe malfunction.

If you haven't fixed a broken heel with double-sided tape pulled off your own boobs, who even are you?

3. How to make a f*ck boy cry.

Because ain't nobody messin' with your clique.

4. How to properly carbo-load before and after a long night of drinking.

The post-drinking pizza is just as important as the pregame pasta.

5. How to cure even the roughest hangover.

Every freshman will be at the philanthropy event Sunday morning and they will look good dammit.

6. How to talk to cops, nosey neighbors, and angry landlords.

"I'm sorry officer, but haven't you heard of some good ol' fashioned water pong?"

7. How to control even the most determined DAB.

Because every good mom knows the fine line between 3 tequilas and floooor.