We have all seen the Clinton vs. Trump debates that have been taking place in the past few weeks leading up to this years "election". It seems that whenever a relevant topic that the people actually want and need to know about is brought up, they just start personally attacking each other...how productive! Here are some things that I would personally rather do than have either of these fools in the White House, tbh.
1. Be t for Halloween.
2. Eat a handful of squirrel feet.
3. Burn all of my clothes and wear suede cloaks instead.
4. Hire Trump's makeup artist to make me pretty.
5. Be stuck in an elevator with families of rats.
6. Pour acetone in every crevice of my body.
7. Dye my hair plaid.
8. Slap all my professors with a block of ham.
9. Lick salt off moldy bread.
10. Be Mariah Carey's manager.
11. Hangout with the women of "Little Women: Atlanta".
12. Curb stomp myself.
13. Get the GAP logo tattooed on my chest.
14. Have all my text messages sent to my parents at the end of each month.
15. Never eat Chipotle again.
16. Be chained to a serial killer for a week.
17. Gauge my eyeballs out with tigers claws.
18. Rip the wings off of moths with my teeth.
19. Tell your grandmother about your sexual history.
20. Do the walk of shame through a Independence Day parade.
21. Find out your mom is a secret clown.
22. Gain 100 pounds in my forearms alone.
23. Eat yogurt covered lice.
24. Have peanut butter smothered on my body. (ps. I HATE peanut butter)
25. Forget to wear clothes to a party.
26. Give Donald Trump a 5 hour sponge bath.
27. Read 33,000 emails.
28. Have an electric current go through my body every 15 seconds.
29. Eat every clock in the world and be forced to blog about what time it is for every time zone in the world at every minute of the day:)
30. Tell a child that Santa is a pimp, then explain what a pimp is, then ruin their dreams.
31. Get my pupils dilated before watching a light show.
32. Lick Chelsea Clintons teeth.
33. Wear denim underwear with see-through plastic pants.
34. Be kicked in the face by a buffalo every time I breathe.
35. Meet my future husband at a "Swingers Interest Meeting"
36. Fall into a pool with 11 toasters strapped to my body by electric cords.
37. Take on the presidential duties myself and everyone will live happily ever after.
