I have a Yellow Lab named Jake. He is sweet, he is very lovable, and he is kind of an idiot. I am what you called dog-obsessed but mainly with my own dog. He is 12 years old but he still has some puppy left in him; for example, he chases the postal worker who sprints to and from our front door so that Jake will not try to climb into his truck. I always say that I wish Jake could talk, so here are things that I wish he would understand.
1) It is not appropriate to harass the UPS people, FedEx people, postal workers, or the Jehovah Witnesses.
Jake likes to sniff people, and he also likes to get into their trucks. When he was a puppy, he jumped onto two school buses on the same morning. He also ate backpacks and chased a neighborhood kid down the road- but that is a story for another day.
2) I know you LOVE vanilla Oreos but if you keep eating them like you do, we're going to have to put you on Weight Watchers.
My dog loves his carbs. Whether it's a plain doughnut, thin vanilla Oreos, Italian bread, or a piece of a bagel, he is allllll over it. And yes we know these things aren't good for him but he has them in moderation.
3) The barking actually makes us all cringe.
Dude, the barking has gotta stop, because it is constant. Jake basically barks at air, and it drives us all insane. It could be a nice peaceful afternoon at home and them BAM Jake wakes up from one of his many naps and starts to bark at who knows what for 45 minutes straight.
4) Just because we smell like other dogs doesn't mean we're cheating on you.
Whenever I get home from being somewhere that has another dog, my dog will sniff me for like 10 minutes and then just walk away and ignore me for the rest of the day.
5) My favorite thing you currently do is when I come home from college for the weekend and you run straight to my car to greet me.
I love this. I, like everybody else probably, miss my dog a ton while I'm at school, and sometimes if my brother remembers, Jake and I will FaceTime and it's so cute.
6) I am sorry for constantly having my phone in your space but I need to add more pictures of you to the 200+ I already have.
I constantly take pictures of my dog and he tries to hide his face or he'll shift.
