Personality Disorders

10 Things You Need To Know About People With Borderline Personality Disorder

No mortal being has ever loved harder than someone with BPD.

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Most people don't know much about Borderline Personality Disorder or the people who live with it, like me. But, 1.6 percent of the US population is diagnosed with BPD, so there's a chance you may encounter, or even become close to, someone with the disorder. Here are just a few facts and educational tidbits to help you learn more about the BPD community.

1. They care A LOT about their loved ones.

This could be parents, siblings, a significant other or a best friend. People with BPD don't have an abundance of people in their circle. But, the ones they do have, they smother with affection.

2. They can also be quick to snap on said loved ones.

Because they adore their people so freakin' much! BPD's biggest fear is losing someone close and getting emotionally hurt. A borderline has much stronger emotions than a neurotypical, so all that love can feel like too much sometimes.

3. They experience intense emotions for long periods of time.

This can include depression, anxiety, and anger. Trust me, they would rather not be having this downpour of feels, so be patient with someone who is experiencing prolonged emotions.

4. They can be impulsive, which makes them really fun to be around.

While impulse control can be a weakness to those with BPD, it can also be a strength! People with BPD are often unafraid to try new things and dive into different experiences. If you're looking for someone to help you try new foods, churches, tattoos, or hair colors, befriend a borderline!

5. While they are the first to encourage others, their self-confidence is low.

Because people with BPD are so giving, they often forget to give some of that love to themselves. Self-care is a vital part of a borderline's daily routine, but they also need encouraging words from others to feel truly worthy of the love in their life.

6. They may not trust you right away, and that's okay.

The reason why borderlines may not have many friends is because they take their time in building bonds with others. They are very patient in cultivating trust and loyalty. While some may call this "being picky" or "having high expectations", in reality, people with BPD just want meaningful relationships.

7. They are often trauma survivors.

Many people with BPD have also experienced traumatic events in their lifetime, especially as children. This means there can be overlapping symptoms like suicidal tendancies or PTSD. With this in mind, be gentle with borderlines. They may be working through a multitude of things you don't know about, so some TLC is always good.

8. They (usually) don't have bipolar disorder.

When people hear "Borderline Personality Disorder", they often go straight to "Bipolar Disorder" which is not the same thing. Bipolar people suffer from manic episodes, whereas borderlines usually don't. However, there have are cases of people with both disorders! It's just uncommon.

9. They're pretty creative!

Because borderlines experience such intense emotions, they often choose to express them through art! Through their unique experiences, they can create deep, thought-provoking work.

10. They have a lot in common with some celebrities!

There are many successful celebrities, living and not, that were known to have BPD. Some on the list include: Pete Davidson, Angelina Jolie, Marilyn Monroe, Britney Spears, Courtney Love, Amy Winehouse, Lindsey Lohan, and Princess Diana.

Though they struggle and survive, people with BPD are the most loving, invested, creative people ever. I encourage you to sit down with a borderline (if they are comfortable with talking) and have a conversation about the ins and outs of their life. What you find may surprise you, and even bring you some joy.

Be educated, have patience, and show love to those in your life who need it most.

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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You Can Get In 'Bad Moods' And Still Be A Positive Person

No, it's not contradictory. It's the truth.

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For 10 straight years of my life, starting in eighth grade, I was definitely not considered a happy-go-lucky girl. I was consistently at a comfortable level of happiness, sure, but was I jumping for joy for every part of my day without a complaint? Hell no, I had something to say about nearly everything with my eyes practically rolling out of my skull. Now? I am that happy presence in the room, and I have fallen in love with my new self. Is that weird? Maybe. Is it something so simple that absolutely anyone can achieve it? Absofuckinglutely.

What am I like now? Let me break it down for you, and then I want you to try to say that you have no interest in being this way in your own life, too. These are some of the smallest, yet miraculous changes I have ever applied to my life. My normally structured everyday life, my routines and my habits (good and bad).

Some of the easiest parts of your life are the hardest to break. If you understand that sentence to the depth that I'm trying to convey it, then your life is about to change.

I get up the first time I hear my alarm, every morning. I haven't pressed "snooze" in about six months. I get up at 5:02 am every single day, do you know how hard that is?! But do you know it's the easiest way to make for better days? Start your days better, and you'll see better days.

Get excited to light that morning candle because it's still dark out. A new outfit combination to keep things interesting, and feeling that hot water wake you up and release any tension in your body and bones from the night before. It's a new day, and it's up to you to make it a damn good one.

Right there, you're thinking "I can't be a positive person because sometimes I don't have a good day." Ummm, what? Robot? Is that you?

We all have bad days. Complete dog shit days, actually. Just because we are in the process or are these "newly born positive hippie fairy people", does not mean we can control the universe and what it does to us. The world will break your heart six times by Sunday and that's a damn fact. However, you can fall in love with seven of those days. Stay a step ahead of yourself. You won't regret it.

How do you handle the bad days? Simplicity here too.

Work on what you say and how you say it. I say hello to anyone I make eye contact with. Do you know how many people I pass running through meetings and a high school all day long? That's a lot of smiles. And when it comes to conversations, I never end one sentence on a negative note. Even when I'm complaining, I make sure to find a silver lining, regardless of its size, to end my sentence.

Find that little glimmer of hope and positivity, no matter how stereotypical it seems, and emphasize on it.

Make sure you complete that sentence.

Make sure people hear you.

And yes, sometimes things just really are that bad, and you can't find a good in why something happened when it did, the way it did, or why you're feeling the way you do about it. Guess what? Not an excuse. You can still find hope, but only if you're looking. "Hey, that was so shitty and I am taking it so hard and I really hate everything right now, but it could've been worse, and at least I never have to live today again."

Easy as Sunday morning, right?

You don't have to "STAY POSITIVE" to be a positive person. You just have to promise to always try your best to stay positive. That's literally all it takes. That's it.

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