When I first read about the Orlando shooting, I felt a rush of shock, fear and shame. I was shocked because it honestly didn't even seem like it was real. Gun violence is so normative in this country, but I didn't want to believe that 50-plus people were killed in cold blood while they were trying to enjoy themselves at a gay nightclub, especially in the middle of Pride Month. I was afraid because I came to the realization that my LGBTQ friends and family aren't safe anywhere, not even in the spaces that they've designed for themselves.

I grew up in Durham, North Carolina, a liberal, queer-friendly city where the NC Pride Parade and Festival is held each year. No matter where you go, there will be always homophobic and transphobic people, but compared to the rest of the state, the Triangle Area (Durham, Raleigh and Chapel Hill / Carrboro) advocates strongly for the rights of LGBTQ people. It is so scary to think that it doesn't matter how safe or LGBTQ-friendly my city generally is. It doesn't matter if the NC Pride Parade is meant to be a safe space for LGBTQ North Carolinians. PULSE was a space designed for LGBTQ people, but some sick homophobe took it upon himself to enter that space and shoot over a hundred people.

I don't even want my LGBTQ family members to go to NC Pride this year. Obviously, I'm not going to stop them. But I can't shake the fact that I could lose them to the hatred and evil in this world at any point.

Lastly, I felt ashamed. I'm a straight, pro-LGBTQ Christian and following the events in Orlando, I couldn't help but feel angry at the Church. Not at Jesus, not at God, but the Church. Specifically the American Church.

Many of my fellow American Christians didn't want to see gay couples holding hands in public. They didn't want to see gay couples on TV. They didn't want to see gay couples in advertisements. They didn't want their kids to have gay friends because they didn't want their kids to "catch gay," as if sexuality was a communicable disease. Heck, if their kid came out as gay, they weren't even going to be their kid anymore. Many American Christians voted against the legalization of same-sex marriage. They wanted to pass laws that gave them the "religious liberty" to discriminate against LGBTQ people. They accused trans women of being male rapists in skirts, completely failing to educate themselves about the trans community and the violence and assault that they experience in public bathrooms.

American Christianity preaches that the Gospel is for everyone. Everyone, except the LGBTQ community. I can't tell you how many of my LGBTQ friends are too scared to walk into a church or join Christian clubs on campus because they've been hurt by Christians and they've been hurt by the Church. That isn't something that we should be proud of. That's something that we need to fix.

We may not have pulled the trigger, but by preaching hateful, homophobic and transphobic rhetoric in our sanctuaries, in our classrooms, at our dinner parties and on social media, we were basically asking someone else to do it for us.

So, how do we get rid of homophobia in our churches?

Personally, I think that we need to start by modifying our language and attitudes towards the LGBTQ community. I don't think the Church's homophobia is violent and physically abusive, but it's very mentally and verbally abusive. Ephesians 4:29 says, "Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."

We can encourage our LGBTQ brothers and sisters by erasing these "unwholesome" phrases from our vocabulary.

1. "You can't be gay and a Christian."

When you tell a gay person that they can't be a Christian, specifically because they're gay, you've pretty much told them that the Gospel was not, is not and will never be for them.

If you base your argument on the belief that homosexuality is a sin, it's still a flawed argument. Ephesians 2:8-10 says, "God saved you by his special favor when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

If being gay is a sin (and I don't think it is), it's not enough to prevent someone from receiving God's gift of salvation. He gives it to us the moment we choose to believe in Him as our Creator and our Savior. Obviously as Christians, we have to strive to be as perfect as Christ, but many Christians spend their whole lives struggling with the same "types" of sins. Does that make them any less Christian? I doubt it.

That being said, you can absolutely be gay and a Christian.

2. Saying that people "live a homosexual lifestyle" or "practice homosexuality."

First off, why do y'all throw around the term "homosexual lifestyle," but never use the term "heterosexual lifestyle?" In fact would you, straight Christian, ever say that you live a "heterosexual lifestyle?" Because I know I wouldn't.

And what is a "homosexual lifestyle," anyway? Yeah, I get that "practicing homosexuality" and leading a "homosexual life" refers to engaging in sexual acts with a partner of the same sex, but is there only one way to express your sexuality? Some straight people are celibate, some are not. Some straight people will get married, some never will. Some straight people wait until marriage to have sex, some won't. Some straight people are monogamous, some aren't. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and pansexual people have the same options as we do in regards to sexual expression.

Lastly, people aren't "practicing 'homosexuals'" the way that we're practicing Christians. I don't practice Asianness or femininity. I'm an Asian woman. That's just who I am. Being gay isn't a hobby or a religion that someone follows -- it's simply who they are. Just accept it.

3. Referring to gay people as "homosexuals" in general.

In my Public Health class, my professor told us to refrain from referring to gay and lesbian people as "homosexuals." She didn't really explain it to me, but after taking the time to think about it after class, it made sense. Homosexuality used to be classified as a mental disorder in the DSM. So referring to someone as a "homosexual" makes them sound like they have some sort of disease and need to be cured. GLAAD actually lists "homosexual" as one of the terms the media should avoid when discussing the LGBTQ community. Their reason is pretty much the same as mine. Click and see for yourself.

4. "Love the sinner, hate the sin."

OK, this is a pretty over the top example, but imagine if I told one of my close International friends, "Dude, I love you, but I hate your accent!"

Let's say that I genuinely wanted my friend to change the way that he spoke English. Let's say that I wanted him to change his accent because employers would be more likely to hire him, or he would build better relationships with people, or some BS like that. Let's say that I told him, "I love you, but I hate your accent," more than once.

So my friend decides that he wants to change his accent. He spends hours and hours listening to native English speakers and imitating the way they talk. He gets closer and closer to sounding like an American, but even then, a hint of his original accent comes out when he speaks. And he hates it. I told him over and over that I don't approve of the way that he speaks, and that he will be respected more if he changes it. He's spoken this way his whole life, and he wants to change it completely, but can't. Now he hates that part of him, and eventually, he starts to hate himself as a person.

When you tell a gay person that you love them, but hate their sin, you're actually saying, "I love you, but I hate that you're gay!" or, "I love you, but I hate that you're dating a man!" or, "I love you, but I wish you weren't the way that you are!"

Just like the friend in my made-up scenario, many gay, lesbian and bisexual people begin to experience same-sex attraction at a young age and continue to be attracted to people of the same-sex in adulthood. When they're told that this attraction is wrong, they go through "conversion therapy" when they're older and it's incredibly ineffective. They spend the rest of their life thinking that there's something wrong with them and there's nothing that they can do about it.

The phrase "love the sinner, hate the sin" is anything but loving. It's not going to make your gay friend stop being gay, or your trans friend stop being trans. And it's not going to improve his quality of life. And it's not going to strengthen your friendship. And it's definitely not going to bring him closer to God. If anything, it's going to do the exact opposite.

Just like in the theoretical example I gave above, my friend didn't end up receiving any love from me. He only developed a hatred for himself. And if he ever found a way to love himself, then his resentment would (rightfully) be towards me instead.

5. "I love [gay friend's name], but I won't go to his wedding if he invites me."

Actually, if you really feel this way, then you probably should say this. Just so that your friend knows that he shouldn't even bother inviting you to anything, ever.

6. "Homosexuality isn't natural. Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."

Oh, boy. I could go on and on about this.

Homosexuality is absolutely natural, given that over 1,500 have been observed engaging in same-sex mating.

And yes, God made Adam and Eve. He made male and female. And yes, it takes sperm (male) and an egg (female), to make a baby. But let's be real. Adam and Eve already did their jobs. People in Genesis popped kids out like crazy because there were barely any people on this Earth. Now, there are roughly seven billion people on this planet. There isn't a need to procreate right now, and the estimated five percent of people who identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual aren't going to cause the world population to decline significantly.

Also, if the purpose of a relationship or marriage is to bear children, then should people who are unable to have children be denied the right to get married, too? Should couples refrain from using contraceptives or having sex without the intention of conceiving?

7. Saying that trans people, particularly trans women, are sexual predators.

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those who are perishing. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice." -- Proverbs 31:8-9

The reality is that roughly 70 percent of people have been denied access, verbally harassed or physically assaulted in a public restroom. And trans women are especially vulnerable to violence. In fact, last year in the United States, 23 trans women were murdered and many of them were trans women of color. Trans women aren't sexual predators, they are victims. It's not right for us to stand by and watch them suffer.

Jesus stopped men from stoning a woman because he knew that she didn't deserve it. Let's protect these women (yes, they're women) from violence, too.

8. Claiming "religious liberty" and tossing around the word "discrimination" when pro-LGBT laws are passed.

Are you still able to worship in a church safely on Sunday? Can you still listen to the Christian station on your drive to work? Are you guaranteed Christian holidays off? Can you sit in public and read your Bible without the authorities arresting you?

Congratulations! You still have your religious liberty.

And honestly, when same-sex marriage is legalized or when trans people get the right to pee in a safe space are legally protected, please don't say you're being discriminated against. Because you're really not.

In fact, Christians are incredibly privileged in the United States. And I'm not talking about financial privilege. I'm talking about the little things that we take for granted.

Christians are protected and in power here in the States. The LGBTQ community is not. They experience high suicide, homicide, assault and homelessness rates. They experience job discrimination. They experience depression and anxiety in response to our homophobic culture. They constantly have to worry about their safety because of who they are.

What happened in Orlando wasn't something that happened out of the blue. It's a result of decades (or longer) of oppression and hurt.

So Christian brothers and sisters, don't just pray. Jesus did so much more than pray.

Do something. Speak out. Be informed. Change.