On January 2nd of this new year, our "lovely" and "mature" president decided to post this Tweet:
I really, really, really wish that I had made this up. I am convinced that his entire existence is an elaborate hoax at this point. I mean, I know that I am petty but...d*mn son. So in an effort to out-petty our very "professional" president, I have decided to weigh in on the *insert eggplant emoji here* measuring contest.1. His hands
His very teeny, tiny hands.
2. His ego
Because really, we all know he's compensating.
3. The actual eggplant emoji
It's not just a euphemism.
4. Obama's "Nuclear Button"
Because we all know that Trump is desperately just trying to get Obama's attention.
5. His intelligence
It's tiny...but I'm 90% sure that it is still bigger than his "Nuclear Button." (However, not by much.)
6. His ability to care about others
His empathy is vastly miniscule...but probably still larger than his "Nuclear Button."
7. MY "Nuclear Button"
*wink, wink*