Being the single friend is usually pretty fun. Everyone lives vicariously through your free-spirited and fast-paced life, secretly wishing they had even an ounce of the freedom that you do.
Yet, it is often this same sense of independence and care-free lifestyle that prompts your "relationship friends" to offer their advice or express their opinions on your love life, unintentionally patronizing you for not having settled down yet. Harmless as they may seem, it's phrases and questions like the ones below that we, the single people, are tired of hearing.
1. “You wouldn’t understand because you’re not in a relationship.”
If you’ve ever tried to offer advice to a friend in a relationship, it most likely backfired on you. Apparently being single means you have no sense of the real-world, and all of your opinions are automatically invalid because you “just don’t understand.”
People in relationships are unexplainably defensive at times and typically resort to putting you down due to your single status, even if you are trying to offer a completely clearheaded and sound piece of advice. Although it may be true that one cannot know the entire dynamics of another’s relationship, it might be beneficial to listen to those single friends once in a while who can offer a new take on the situation.
2. “That’s why you’re single.”
This is every relationship person’s favorite line. Their relationship status has somehow made them superior beings, thus giving them the right to tell us, the little single people, why we have not been deemed chosen.
You left your dish in the sink? That’s why you’re single. You went out three-times this week? That’s why you’re single. You got an A on your test? That’s also probably why you’re single.
Whether you did something right or wrong, all your actions seem to somehow correlate with your relationship status, A.K.A. being single is pretty much your own fault. From the point of view of the relationship friends, this line may seem harmless, but trust me, it’s actually pretty annoying from the single person's point of view. Being single doesn’t require an explanation, so stop trying to provide one for us.
3. “Staying in with my boyfriend/girlfriend is way better than going out like you do.”
As the single friend, you could try and say this is not true, but some couple will probably just condescendingly recite the previously mentioned “you wouldn’t know because you’re single” line, as if their 10th consecutive night in watching Netflix is sooooo much better than whatever you have planned.
Don’t get me wrong, single people love vegetating and binge-watching trash TV just as much as any other person, but don’t make us feel bad for trying to go out and have some fun. How we choose to entertain ourselves has no effect on your life, so if we want to go out or vegetate for 4 days straight, we can, and we will.
4. “When are you going to settle down and get a boyfriend/girlfriend?”
Never. Leave us alone.
Ok, that was aggressive. But seriously, stop asking single people when they’re going to settle down. For one, it’s not exactly in our control. It's as if people in relationships forget that you can’t just walk up to any random person and demand that they date you.
Secondly, asking single people when they’re going to stop being single is like asking a couple when they’re planning on breaking up. It’s just an awkward question that has no appropriate answer. Being single because you want to be or because you don’t want to settle for just anyone seems to be a concept way too simple for people in relationships to comprehend, leading them to constantly question the well-being of your romantic life.
You may have your met your match, but some of us haven’t yet. When are we going to settle down you may ask? When we feel like it.
