Do you often wonder about what other people think about you? Or, do you often find yourself going out of your way to please people only to become disappointed?
If your answer was a yes to either of these questions, it is with my deepest sympathies to inform you that you have the bad habit of being a people pleaser.
Some may think there is nothing wrong with making people happy, and that is very true! Although, balance is always something that is needed in the world and the popular phrase “give and take” is known for a reason.
With that being said, here are five things a people pleaser needs to know.
1. Do not allow approval from others to become your addiction.
Many people can become addicted to different things. Believe it or not, approval from others can become one of them. In fact, with this day and age, more people than ever are becoming addicted to others approving them. Social media makes it easy when it comes to Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Etc. People begin to judge their self-worth based on how many likes they had on their selfie or how many re-tweets and followers they may have. Others may try their best to win people over in different ways. The point is, if you are a people pleaser, you may often find that the main reason you want to make others approve of you is because their praise helps you to approve of yourself.
It is nice to be showered with compliments and praise from others, but in the end, words are just words and you are the only person with an important opinion when it comes to yourself.2. You may find that being the bearer of bad news actually terrifies you.
Whenever it becomes time to quit your job or face some sort of confrontation with others, you begin to have medium to large sized anxiety spells. You cannot stand the thought of someone thinking poorly of you and telling someone something they don't want to hear. Either you end up worrying about the situation for a long time until you face it, or you end up chickening out and say nothing at all. Do not let situations like this stress you out. More than likely, if you tell someone no or decide to quit your job, people will be understanding as long as you are respectful.
3. Do not allow yourself to be taken advantage of.
You will have those few extremely rude people in your life who know about your habit of people pleasing and will try to use it to their advantage. For instance, if you have “friends” who purposefully go out of their way to make you feel terrible when you say no, they are manipulating you. Friends are there to build each other up, not to tear one another down. If you often feel like having this person in your life causes you more disappointment than pleasure, it is time to let them go. You are worth so much more than that.
4. Let things be.
One of the most painful feelings to go through is wanting to please someone you love and realizing that they aren’t happy, especially when there is nothing you can do to change that. At this point, pleasing others becomes more than just feeling good about yourself, it becomes about the other person. If you have done all you could to try to win them over or put a smile on there face and they still haven’t changed, it is time to make a sacrifice and let them be.
5. Set yourself free.
Do not limit your life any longer by pleasing others. When your main self-esteem source comes from how other people view you, you put yourself in a box. Making decisions is hard enough on your own let alone having to consider everyone else’s feelings. Be up-front and honest about who you are. Embrace your weirdness, love your goofiness and have confidence in yourself knowing that you are awesome. There are people who are going to appreciate your uniqueness and there are going to be people who disapprove. It is simply impossible to make every single human in the world happy. Just know that as long as you are happy with yourself, your life will feel refreshed.
Make honest relationships knowing that people appreciate you for you, that is the kind of life that everyone deserves.
