Oh, Passover. The holiday we know and love (read: hate) has graced us with its presence this year. Perhaps the most bizarre holiday to those who aren’t Jewish, Passover is one of a kind. So toss out your chametz (non-kosher for passover foods,) grab some matzah, and enjoy the ten things only people who celebrate Passover understand.
1. No bread.
You know that delicious carb that has existed since the dawn of, well, ever? None of that.
2. Having to explain the food restrictions to people who don’t celebrate.
“Wait, so its a gluten free holiday?” Sure, we’ll go with that.
3. Matzah…only matzah.
Your best friend for the next eight days is matzah. Often referred to as the “giant cracker,” this thing is paired up with everything and acts as your interim bread for eight days. Don’t eat too much of it, though, because you won’t be using the bathroom anytime soon.
4. Everyone asks to try your matzah.
Everyone you walk by is fascinated with your giant cracker. Everyone wants a piece and everyone is equally disappointed in its cardboard-like taste once they try a piece.
5. Seders means a four-hour-long dinner two nights in a row.
News flash: your meal doesn't actually begin until about three hours into dinner. First, you have to go through the whole story of exodus. When you’re just about to pass out from starvation, you begin to eat.
6. Ashkenazi versus Sephardic Jews.
There are some of us Jews who are less fortunate. We’re called the Ashkenazi Jews. Just to make things a bit more complicated, this means that, in addition to bread, we cannot eat rice or legumes. Lowkey, this cuts out a lot of food that we cannot eat.
7. Matzah pizza.
You will eat this and you will love this. Who knew that cheese and tomato sauce on a giant cracker would make for such a delicious food? 10/10, would recommend matzah pizza.
8. Kosher for Passover food is not the same.
Let’s be real for a second...Kosher for Passover food is bland at best. Something just doesn't taste right about cake that doesn't contain any flour in it. This is something that the Jewish people need to work on.
9. Potatoes.
If you’re anything like me, your diet will consist of potatoes, potatoes, potatoes. And when you’re done with your potatoes, you can have some more potatoes. Fine by me. I love potatoes. Potatoes.
10. Chocolate spread.
The only thing better and faster to make than matzah pizza is matzah and chocolate spread. Because Nutella is off limits during this period of time, the special chocolate spread with the yellow cap that we know and love will suffice.
Happy Passover, my friends!
