As A Recovered Self-Harmer, I'm So Tired Of Hearing Your Ignorant Comments

As A Recovered Self-Harmer, I'm So Tired Of Hearing Your Ignorant Comments

Must you feel the need to speak out on something you do not understand, let alone with pure insincerity?


Self-harm. Even now, I get uncomfortable merely hearing the topic be brought up, heaven forbid in a room where I know everyone's mind jumps to me. I was a self-harmer for five years, and I have very noticeable scars because of it. I am currently two years clean, and throughout my recovery and even now there are just a few things I'm sick of hearing.

They are so noticeable!

I know you want to immediately dub me as completely mentally unstable. You look at me and wonder how any sane person could do that to themselves. Sometimes you can't hide your curiosity, I get that but I am very aware of my scars, there is never a need to point them out to me beings as I wear them every day.

No normal person would ever do that to themselves!

And honestly, you're right. I, among countless others, have dealt with our mental illnesses in ways that are worthy of judgment, but are we not human?

Must you feel the need to speak out on something you do not understand, let alone with pure insincerity? Additionally, when the human body is injured it releases endorphins-pain killing chemicals- which becomes addicting. It is no longer a choice, but an addiction.

Oh, but it's purely attention seeking!

Stop and think, if we were truly as desperate as to mark ourselves forever, is that not a warning sign? If we needed attention that badly, does that not prove we are lacking it enough to take drastic measures? It is still a sign that somebody needs help regardless. Try reaching out instead of making excuses.

You'll have to explain those to your kids!

I will, and I will do it with love and guidance. I will educate them about the importance of healthy outlets for their sadness and anger. I will encourage them to speak out when they are feeling low. I will tell them that there are plenty of other people just like me, who are not spectacles created by the scars on their bodies.

Won't you be hiding those forever?

If you would have asked me this three years ago, I would have told you yes. Even now, recovery is a journey but I would not be who I am without the tribulations I've been through or the choices I've made. I won't hide them to make others more comfortable because I am already comfortable with myself.

If anyone you know is actively engaging in self-harm, please seek help.

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The Importance Of Leading Female Super Heroes Goes Beyond Just A Movie

Because everyone can be a hero.


If you didn't already know, "Captain Marvel" came out into theaters. And if you didn't already know, it's the first Marvel female solo movie! Yes, Marvel has been making movies for 10 years, and this is the first female movie.

While the other Marvel heroes are amazing, it's finally nice to have a female superhero that wasn't a sidekick or another Avenger but leads her own movie.

And it's important to have a female superhero as a role model for young girls. Because before now they would just see all these big tough guys saving the day. Until "Black Panther," there was only one or two strong lead females, Black Widow and Scarlet Witch, but then we got Shuri and Nakia and Okoye. We got three strong female characters in one movie, which is more than Marvel had in close to 10 movies!

"Thor Ragnorak" gave us Valkyrie and "Infinity War" gave us that awesome fight scene of Okoye, Black Widow and Scarlet Witch working together to defeat Proxima Midnight. But never had we had a female solo movie.

Until now! Now, girls can watch "Captain Marvel" and see a female save the day. They can know that they can be strong and powerful and can do anything that they want to do if they work hard.

And really, Captain Marvel is a role model for everyone just like every other superhero can be a role model.

What's really important is she doesn't give up and not that she has some cool superpowers. Every time she falls, every time someone thinks she can't do it, every time she should feel like giving up, she gets back up. Because life is hard but you have to keep getting back up.

And it's important to have a diverse group of superheroes so that people can relate to heroes on the screen and feel some sort of representation. There's "Black Panther," "Wonder Woman" and "Captain Marvel" and one day, we might get the "Black Widow" movie that we've wanted for so long. The group of heroes are slowly becoming more diverse and it's great to see because more people can relate and feel a connection.

Because everyone can be a hero.

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Having A Unique Relationship With Your Roommate Isn't Bad, It Can Actually Be Quite Great

Some people are always talking to their roommate hanging out all the time, but mine might be different.


College is the land of the jungle and one of the best ways to get through is to have some friends. Usually, your first friend is probably your roommate and that is totally understandable but my first friend wasn't my roommate and honestly had a different way of getting to know him.

When I was going through out housing portal to find a roommate I really didn't know what i was doing. Should I message him? Should I try to meet him beforehand? I didn't do either. I saw the first name and went from there, for all i knew he could've been completely insane but, he wasn't thankfully.

Moved in and it was all good and we still didn't talk to each other on move in day, I know that sounds crazy but we didn't say a word to each other. It was weird that I would have to share this tiny cramped space with someone that I haven't even talked to yet. But, hey at some point i knew we would. to be honest, my mom was the first one to talk to him and they actually had a lot on common. they both grew up in the same neighborhood, crazy.

We finally talked to each other after about three weeks of going here and living with each other. We got to know each other a lot and we actually had a lot in common, we must've talked for 2 to 3 hours about random stuff, but it was so much fun. Then after that we didn't talk again for like another 3 or 4 days. Honestly, that is completely fine with me. We both understood how busy our lives would be since we are taking so many classes, studying, being with friends, and working.

I'm going to be honest, we don't talk to each other everyday, hang out and go to eat together, go to parties, or hell even play video games together. We share the space and we stay cool with each other. We make sure everything works in the room and we maintain the relationship of that we make it through the year without problems. I think both us don't expect much since we are guys and that can be an easy thing to handle.

But, through all of that I gladly call my roommate my friend. He's a guy that I can go to for advice on relationships, talk to about nerdy stuff that I know others couldn't relate to, and also be cool with that we won't talk every single day or hang out a bunch. It is different, but it's that good different that makes you step out of the comfort zone a bit. Someday he will read this and I hope he has embraced our time and sees me as a friend as well. Because I know he's a great guy and a great friend, maybe he doesn't right now but maybe over time we will be great friends.

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