"Will the following names please report to court room 46? Will the following names please report to court room 46?"
I fold my book closed and lean my head back to look at the ceiling.
Please not me. Please not me.
I stuff my book into my backpack, but not all the way. I brought my backpack that if you zip all the way, it gets caught and won't unzip. It's frustrating, but it seems fitting for the reluctance I'm feeling at the moment.
I decide to take the stairs and not the elevator as I trudge up the stairs to the fourth floor of the courthouse. When I get to the room, the baliff is holding the door open for all of us as we file into the room. I drop my things down and exhale deeply. The judge enters and walks to the front of the room.
"Thank you all for being here today. What you're doing is an honor and a privilege. Thank you for serving your jury service with us today."
I really didn't know what to expect when I got my jury summons in the mail. The day was long and exhausting, but now after having been put on a panel, I now know what to expect and what not to expect. So here are the things that I learned during jury duty.
1. The Wi-Fi, if provided, is slower than my ascent to popularity.
2. All old people smell like peppermint. I don't know why. It makes no sense.
3. All of the outlets get hogged by businessmen, hipsters on really big tablets, and old women charging their phones so they can play apps involving jewels and candy where you must align them for points.
4. If put on a jury, then apparently they don't want you to go to the crime scene to investigate for yourself. This was expressed to us three times.
5. Apparently, I am the type of person who comes back from lunch early. My original goal was to get a spot near an outlet, but...
6. If you speak too clearly, or not clearly enough, then you will get dismissed. If you're not likable, but you're also not dislikable, then they keep you.
7. The rooms are always colder than the looks my roommates give me when I forget to refill the ice cube tray.
8. There's always one kid who just turned 18 who is way too excited to be there, but then he realizes by day two that he should've maybe downplayed the excitement.
9. There's one guy who likes to talk so much that you can tell he's been waiting his turn to get interviewed. You can tell because he allots time for laughter after each joke.
10. In the waiting room, there is always one guy who seems to have brought his entire office with him.
11. Jury duty, although long and often inconvenient, is an interesting way to see our judicial system at work. Overall, it is a good opportunity to appreciate the right given to citizens for a fair trial.