As a mammal, I have a lot of things that happen to me daily. I wake up and go to sleep every night. I have to eat and use the restroom. When I was little I couldn’t do the things I can do now, like feed and protect myself. One day (hopefully) I’ll find a mate or two to have a baby with. But there are some things that only us humans get to do. These things are exclusive to us as a population, and nothing else in the universe will ever get to experience them. So here is my list of 30 Things Only Humans Can Relate To. It’s special to be a human and sucks to be anything else.

1. Dropping your phone in the crevice between the console and the seat in your car
2. Getting a really convincing email about a “25 million dollar business opportunity”
3. “You up?” texts
4. Knowing one song on the piano
5. Ordering Ray Bans online that were on sale for only $20 and getting your credit card compromised and sunglasses in the mail that are fake plastic
6. Going to a place called “foot massage” to get a back massage.
7. The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
8. Comparing Chaco tan lines
9. Deciding between CVS and Walgreens
10. Calling your girlfriend the wrong name
11. Fake laughing at an acquaintance's jokes
12. Accidently pooping your pants at a Starbucks in Washington heights
13. Hoping your tweet does well
14. Chilis 2 for $20
15. Transitioning from velcro to laces
16. Discreetly picking a wedgie
17. The capacity to love and experience deep traumatizing heart break
18. Changing your identity to protect yourself
19. Worrying that "In the Heights" will be overshadowed because of "Hamilton’s" success
20. Trying to explain an SNL sketch to someone and it being underwhelming and then it getting awkward.
21. Trying to google the sketch you were talking about, but the wifi isnt working
22. The wifi not working
23. Drinking from a camelback for the first time
24. Playing bananagrams and breaking a sweat
25. Having to vote for Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton for the President of the United states and then having to justify it
26. Doing meth
27. Asking the person in the stall next to you for toilet paper
28. “Did you save enough room for desert?”
29. Being impressed when someone actually knows how to solve a rubics cube
30. Being relatable online
31. Getting lots of shares and winning a $25 gift card
32. Realizing the time we waste reading relatable lists