At some point, we all get carried away with our appearance, our relationships, the mundane aspects of our lives. We strive for perfection, but constantly misjudge the meaning of that word, so it simply isn’t attainable. It’s so hard for us to accept that we’re already perfectly human. Here are some things to avoid in order to adopt a more peaceful, healthy outlook on life.
1. Wasting your time on people who don’t value you.
There’s nothing that is worth less of your time and tears than surrounding yourself with people who could care less about your feelings or your opinions, or worse, who repeatedly hurt you or tear you down emotionally. This ranges from drastic cases such as a physically abusive relationship to milder cases when friends don’t reciprocate any efforts to keep the friendship alive.
2. Worrying about the little things… just go with the flow.
Does your heart pound when you’re preparing for an interview? Do you moan and groan and dread going into work when you’re just not feeling it? These are totally natural reactions to stressful events in your life, but I’ve found that in retrospect, this kind of worrying is so pointless and just another unnecessary source of stress to include in your day to day activities.
3. Holding grudges.
Grudges are a source of negativity that taint your emotional status and overall attitude toward life. If someone has done you wrong and you’re finding it hard or impossible to forgive them, then the least you can do is put their wrongdoing out of your mind, accept that it happened and move on. Find some other way to make yourself happy that doesn’t involve them. People like this aren’t worth stressing over. On the other hand, giving yourself this space can allow you to take a step back and see how you might have done things differently, how you might have been equally at fault, making it easier to forgive them and yourself.
4. Stressing over homework and grades.
During your school years, you should work hard and strive for good grades. This goes without saying, but I’ve realized how unnecessary it is to aim for perfection every time. Slacking off every once in awhile won’t end the world, and 92 percent is just as admirable as 99 percent. Admitting when you’re not sure about a concept in an assignment and letting your grade take one for the team is OK to do, but only occasionally. Of course, avoiding procrastination can assist your attention span and quality of work and is advisable, but adequate hours of quality sleep and a social life are often much more important to uphold.
5. Trying to form yourself into someone else to please others.
Ultimately, it comes down to being your own person and doing the things that make you the happiest in life. When others try to tell you how you’re lacking in this way or that, there are two possibilities: they are reflecting some flaw that they see (perhaps subconsciously) in themselves back onto you, or they are naturally judgmental and get off on making other people feel self-conscious about themselves, possibly both. Whatever the situation, be and do what brings you the most joy, as long as it is not harmful to others. Wear those leopard print leggings and that hot pink wig. Be attracted to girls, guys, both, neither! Put on that eyeliner if you like how you look with it on. (I’m addressing both genders here.)
6. Gossip and rumors.
Gossip and rumors, like grudges, bring nothing but judgment and false truths to your life and the lives of others. It can be very hurtful when a rumor gets back around to you, but as hard as it may be, try not to let it fester. You have nothing to prove to the world. As long as you're true to yourself, the only thing that can harm you is letting the rumors control your attitude and outlook upon life.
7. Staying in an unhappy relationship to avoid hurting your partner’s feelings.
Many of us have been in this position. He’s a nice guy, she’s a great girl, but something just doesn’t feel right, doesn’t feel complete. In this case, it’s usually best to let that person go. You both deserve someone who loves all of you, every flaw and every scar. As long as you’re lying to yourself about it “working out in the end,” you’re holding back both souls from finding the one they’re meant to be with.
8. Eating healthy... all the time.
Healthful eating is wise for maintaining that lean body image and is an important aspect of physical fitness. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t cheat every once in awhile. As long as you have self-control and know when to stop, that slice of cake or chocolate chip cookie isn’t going to hurt anything. Go ahead, enjoy some sugar, some salt, some icing...then follow it up with a healthy salad or protein drink. Don’t forget to live a little.
9. Dwelling on the past — yours or someone else’s.
Of all the moves you could be making in your life, the last you should be dwelling on are those which you should have made differently in the past. So much time is wasted on wondering how things could have been different, when instead it should be spent learning from it and moving forward to improve your future. The beauty of the past is that it always holds a lesson. It can make you a better person, more kind or considerate, a truer friend, or a more loyal partner. The past may always linger to haunt you, but it’s your responsibility to silence the whispering by building positive memories for a brighter future.
10. Trying to reach all of your goals
It’s good to have goals and dreams to strive for, and some people have loftier goals than others. Most require hard work and patience, but even so, there comes a point when you’ve bit off too much and need to take a step back. This is perfectly acceptable. Take it one step at a time, but try not to obsess over making yourself this unattainably perfect person. We all have our flaws, reminding us that we are only human. Each of us are unique and special, and that doesn’t require perfection.
