Pheww!! So far I have somehow managed to make it through my first week as a Freshman at BSU. I can hardly believe that my roommate Kayla and I have made it through the first few classes in our first week. I know that this campus must have tons more freshmen who probably can’t believe they have made it this far either.
Now, I won't lie, my first week of college was one of the most challenging times of my life. But here's the good news: I survived! So, it seems that my parents and sister and friends already in college were right when they repeatedly told me that my first semester is always the hardest.
No lie, it was tough to learn how to adjust. Here I am, living in a new place, new surroundings and new people everywhere. Things have not been exactly what I envisioned my new beginnings to be…with unbridled anticipation I just packed up my belongings and moved into a room the size of your closet with at least one other person; this is where I was one of the more fortunate Freshman, because I was able to room with one of my closest friends who though is my exact opposite she is able to keep me grounded and can relate to what I am going through as it is also her first time away from home in new surroundings. Most of my friends with whom I graduated are now scattered throughout the state, if not the whole country, and so now I find myself in a place where I know less than a handful of people. Well, I may know a few more people than a handful thanks to my sister who is a Junior introducing me to her roommates and what not, but not everyone that I have relied on for many many years of my high school life, if not my entire life are around on a daily basis.
I was faced with the nervousness of finding myself living with complete strangers. I have had to learn how to share a bathroom with them, and I never could have envisioned that I would have as much homework as I do. Literally I feel that I have more homework than I have hours in one day and its scary trying to figure out how to manage it all without getting that drowning feeling. I feel like a very small fish in a vast open ocean. I especially don't want to admit it to my parents, but I have never ever felt so alone.
My high school principal, teachers and guidance counselors had warned us all at graduation this past June of 2016 that in the next stage of life, we were going to experience and have to deal with things such as loneliness, anxiety, sleep deprivation, even depression but we all had internal coping strategies that would rise from within. I am of course one of those graduates who, like those around me, chuckled and thought that sure I'd probably struggle with at least one of them, but I never envisioned I would face them all at once! The day after being moved into my dorm room at Scott Hall and waving goodbye to my parents, I found out that I was facing all the things I was warned about at graduation commencement every morning as I wake up and fearing them as I fall asleep at my desk trying to do my abundance of classwork. It is much harder and overwhelming that I envisioned, and it’s all occurring suddenly with one big “bang”!
Thus, this past week I have figured out that the old saying, “Patience is a virtue,” is not as much as an overused quote, but it is a must have daily necessity to stay sane.
Though this first week was full of awkwardness for me and heavily resembled my prior years of living through bullying and isolation in junior high and high school, yet as I woke up this morning, I realized that I am stronger than I gave myself credit for being and… I survived my first week in college!
Though I have been put outside my comfort zone by being placed in a random groups and forced to participate in public speaking exercises and other types of class participation, I must admit it was not as horrifying as I told myself it would be. Like most changes in life I am realizing that I may not connect with people or groups quickly, but it will happen eventually.
As most students here at BSU have noticed, there have been so many ways to get out and meet peers as well as staff, especially during our “Week of Welcome” as well as the many dorm specific activities that happen almost daily.
When I took the time to walk around BSU this week, alone, I found that there were plenty of people who were nice, returned my smiles and feel that I could eat meals with or sit next to them in class, and though they won’t replace the friends I had left behind, they are definitely helping me into realizing the horizons that are ahead of us all.
Just like in high school it will take time to build new relationships—some of them, easier than others and some of them just might not happen at all. I am sure my so called “tribe of friends” is out there and I am willing to wait, to not be afraid of trying or failing, and that if I have survived my first week, then things can only get better from this moment on.
I am also finding out that our professors are a great source of help also. So I recommend that you do not hesitate to speak up when you don't understand something. They are paid to teach students, but have also been in our shoes, so take advantage of that. I feel that things seem intimidating now, but also am realizing that BSU has some of the best professors, staff, and students around all with the same interest in mind: they want to help us succeed.
Also, I have learned to smile and not take things personally if someone does not smile back or appears to be not so friendly, because they are possibly struggling through this new stage of life like myself and are probably lonely, also.
During my first few days of school here at BSU, when the loneliness was at its heaviest, I remember I got to a class only to find out it was cancelled on our first day, and I went back to my room to let all the weariness, loneliness and homesickness take over and to break down in tears. Almost as quickly as the tears of sadness came, they became tears of laughter as my roommate walked through our door, tossed her backpack upon her bed, looked at me and then ran over jumped upon my bed, proceeding to tell me that I looked like a sad angry leprechaun and then burp in my face! It was then as we wrestled, threw pillows at each other and just looked at each other that we realized we were going to make it!
So the moral of my story is a huge “YES”, the first semester is the hardest, we will cry, we may want to give up and go home where things are safe and easier, but I believe that there comes a time when we reach our second semester when things will calm down and become enjoyable. I will find that like yourself, I have bonded with people and found my place on campus, just as you will find the same.
It will be worth it, I promise!
