As a female athlete, here are a few things I just love hearing! (Note the sarcasm.)
1. "Are you using this?"
This is in reference to a piece of gym equipment. Of course, I am not using this. I am just sitting on it looking pretty like I always do. I am so sorry to be in your way while you are working out. What was I possibly thinking sitting at this machine while there are people in the world like you trying to bulk up? My apologies. Good day sir. Sorry again for the inconvenience.
2."You need to put a shirt on."
This is in reference to working out in a public park wearing a sports bra. I am such a menace to society. Why would I ever take my shirt off when it is 90 degrees and I am doing sport activities? Why am I even here? The 12 men that are also here wearing no shirts, is something that I indeed have to just accept. Females do not ever get hot like men. Why would I ever think this behavior is acceptable. I should just go I am so ashamed of my abysmal behavior.
3. "Do you know what you are doing?"
This is in reference to a piece of gym machinery or any type of athletic stretch/exercise or drill. No, I indeed, do not. I am just out here in this cruel world trying to figure this out, just being an inadequate female. I am clueless. I am so terribly glad that you are here to show me the ropes. What would I possibly ever do without you? Thank you so much for taking precious time out of your busy fitness schedule to show me your ways. It is much appreciated.
4. "You are going to get too muscular."
This is inn reference to doing any sort of weight training. Wait, this builds muscle? I need to stop doing this immediately. Why would I, a young measly girl, ever need to acquire any sort of muscle mass. What would I even do with muscles? I do not need any sort of strength to make sandwich or iron. I am so glad you told me about this. Imagine I was fit and in shape? That would be tragic.
5. "Of course you are wearing a 'Insert name of professional female soccer player here' jersey."
This is said in an agitated and annoyed tone then followed by an eye-roll. Why did I spend my precious money on this article of clothing? I obviously know that men are indeed the superior athletes and this athlete who's jersey I am wearing, is just some scrub. It is so absurd of me to be a fan of a female when I, also a female, can just look up to the men. Being from America, I have such a plethora of male soccer talent to admire and look up to. I must have been living in a cave to not see how great the men are. Let me just go return this jersey at once. Who would want to be a fan of the best team in the world when I can just be a fan of the 25th?
These are the things I'm tired of hearing as a female athlete. Can you relate?
