Almost all of us will experience a relationship of pure and utter toxicity, in various degrees. Chances are, if you are like me, your family saw it coming but you, being stubborn, stuck with it only to end up almost broken from this person. You may of been abused, whether mentally, emotionally, or physically or it might of been a controlling relationship. Maybe you're reading this now and in one and realizing it. Either way, thank God you're out or realizing the unhealthy nature of this relationship. It took me 6 months and a lot of fights with family and friends to realize it.
When you get out of a relationship that is toxic and unhealthy there are a varying of emotions you'll experience. Although I was happy to get out of mine, I felt isolated, since the guy I was with cut off all of my friends. I felt worthless from all the calls saying how worthless I was or how some girl was better than me. It took a while for me to realize that it wasn't true and that relationship didn't define me. Below you'll find tips to help you get over it and build yourself back up.
1. Talk about it.
Doesn't matter if it's your dog, grandma, radio, friends, family - but let it out. Chances are you didn't realize how bad it was until it got to the point where you had no choice but to leave. You've been through a lot without getting to talk to really anyone about it, so let it out. Listen to angry songs driving and scream the lyrics. I don't care what you do, but don't let it build up.
2. Do NOT let them break you.
Chances are you're close to being "broken", you've fought hard to try to fix this person or relationship only to feel used, abused, and worthless. But you are better than that. You are beautiful, strong and independent. You are more than what they said about you, or did to you. More than the "I hate you" or "No one will ever love you" because truth is, you are loved and you will be loved by a guy/girl who appreciates you and would never wish ill upon you or lay a hand on you.
3. Compliment yourself.
You've probably lost some of your confidence, so build yourself up so high. Write that you are beautiful on your mirror or leave yourself post it notes. It all sounds dumb, but when it's 3 am and you're looking into the mirror thinking of every harsh word they threw at you, you'll thank yourself for those notes.
4. Delete them off everything.
Childish? No, it's smart. You don't need to see the new guy or girl or the next person they will control and try to ruin. You don't need to feel like you're in competition with someone else or see how they moved on without thinking twice about you, while you're trying to hold yourself together. Don't view their Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat stories.
5. Delete every picture.
I know they were probably a crucial part in your life, but you don't need to pour poison on yourself by viewing pictures of the person you at one point thought so highly of.
6. Give yourself personal time - but not too much.
My motto is give yourself at most 72 hours alone. After that, you'll most likely get more upset. Go for a run, hike, take a long bath, read that book you always wanted to. But then go hang out with people. Which brings me to my next point..
7. Connect with your friends.
Chances are you pushed them away but true friends are always there, even if you don't talk. Talk to them, rebuild relationships. Your friends are crucial at this point. Go out at almost every invitation given. Even if you feel like crying.
8. Don't rush into a relationship.
Let's be honest. Being alone sucks. We all like the attention that a relationship brings but you aren't ready. You need to focus on yourself, alone. The famous quote that you can't make someone happy and love them until your make yourself happy and love yourself? Yeah, it's true.
