Everyone has heard the term “empty-nesters” before. Children leave home, go away to college, and parents are left in an empty house. This period is a huge adjustment. Some kids are left with a crippling sense of homesickness, others are living their college life to its fullest. While this is an exciting time for the college kids, it’s also an exciting time for parents. They can now do whatever they want again without worrying about making a volleyball game or going to some parent-teacher meeting after work. Parents are officially free again. They’ll handle their new freedom in a variety of ways. Some people go out and travel with their new surplus of time, others use it to catch up on all of the books and TV shows they never had time for. And still other parents, like mine, find a new child to devote their parental nurturing to. For my family, this new child was my dog Scrappy. He has officially become the fourth (and probably favorite) child in my family. If you’re a college kid that left behind empty nesters to an old or new pet, you’re probably experiencing the Replacement Effect as I am.
1. First they leave you at college completely unknowing of your fate….
Everything is fine, you're going to live your dreams and they will probably call a lot and wait around for you in their empty nest.
2. Things are going as expected- calls, care packages, and lots of freshman love.
Getting mail at college is one of the most exciting things. You know it's always for you and most of the time it's your parents sending some love.
3. Then the first few weeks of excitement start to die down-
When the new city and no longer having to go to class 8-3 feels like old news, you might find yourself wondering what's going on back home.
4. But now your calls to mom and dad are always going to voicemail.
Unreturned calls and "Sorry can't talk right now." What could you be doing..I'm your child, don't you miss me?
5. Your first break arrives and you come home to find out what has happened.
You need to see how they're living without you. How can't they be crying constantly over their last (or only) child no longer being in the house?
6. That's when you see him..
Your pet tries to look all innocent and cute. He acts like he's missed you so much and hasn't just stolen all of your parents affection.
7. You're an outsider, the house is his now.
It is time to accept the defeat. The lack of phone calls and care packages are due to the new baby child of the family. Heck, you can't even help but cuddle and pamper your pet nonstop.
8. The new rules of the house start with the needs of the new child.
Scrappy has his likes and dislikes. Those are well known throughout my house now. He gets what he wants and then some. No treat like a good bacon strip and no punishment like water (he's got an extreme aversion).
9. You prepare to go back to school with this new knowledge.
Your dog wants to go back to being the apple of your parents' eye. It is time to go back to school and let him live up his new found glory.
10. Replacement is official.
Pets take over for us when we leave. They fill in a gap that some parents crave. Yes, it can be a bit extreme sometimes (my dog currently has six beds), but they make our house a little less empty. While it is weird to not have my parents calling as much or worrying as much, I know it's not truly because they've fallen for my dog. (At least I'm pretty sure....) They're giving me the space I need to become the adult I want to be. Its hard for parents and their kids to begin parting ways. I still look back on that first day of freshman year and remember how sad I felt knowing I wouldn't see them everyday anymore. I can only imagine how much worse it was for them. The replacement of a pet for an absent college kid isn't a perfect fit, but I think it sure made my dog happy at least and I hope it does the same for my parents.
