We all have had someone in our lives who has made an impact on the person we are today. You may find it hard to forget that person and may even feel stuck because you can't see that the grass is greener on the other side. Today, we assume that anyone who is unpleasant or just plain old annoying is toxic. That is completely false. A toxic person is sometimes hard to identify because they normally have some type of hold on you. Toxic people are usually compared to a drug. When you are introduced you think it is fun and exciting, then you suddenly become hooked. There are days when you feel like you have had enough and you want to quit until they remind you that they used to be fun and exciting. So you decide to try it one last time but then you find yourself in a downward spiral, and not being able to resist.
It is important to know that there is a way out. Sometimes you may feel helpless and worthless. You may think that nothing can save you and that no one can try to break the curse, but the only person who can do that is you. In order to save yourself from suffering, you have to recognize the fact that there is someone who is toxic in your life. A person who is toxic usually:
1. Disregards your feelings most of the time
2. Tries to control you
3. Claim that they are always "right"
4. Are not honest
5. Doesn't take responsibility for their actions/ words
6. Makes you feel like you're not good enough
Under the influence of a toxic person, you may feel like "becoming sober" will make you feel guilty. You may think that moving on and walking away will be the wrong choice because you are blinded by the addiction. Part of the disease is dealing with the fact that cutting a toxic person from your life may hurt and end up coming back to taunt you. It is important to accept that it is a long process and that what you're doing is for the better. Do not stay with someone because you think they may change, or because you miss how it used to be.
Accepting the past is the first step to changing the future. Make sure that you have a support system, such as family and friends, to be there when it gets tough. The most important person is you. You need to be happy and you need to know that you deserve better. If you feel as though the only thing that is good enough for you is the drug then you will only be dragged farther down. You are strong, and you have the power to make yourself sober.
