When you’ve been single for so long (or maybe your entire life), you may start to wonder if anyone is ever going to come along. While I can’t promise you that anyone will, I can promise you that the following are the wrong reasons to jump into a relationship.
1. You’re lonely.
Being single can get lonely. You have friends, but sometimes you just want more, you crave an intimacy or a deeper relationship with someone that’s more than a friend. However, being lonely is not a strong enough reason to want to be in a relationship. You should be able to be comfortable by yourself before you partner up. If you can’t look in the mirror and confidently say you are comfortable in your own skin, I can guarantee you that no one else will be able to make you feel that way.
2. You just want sex.
Relationships are so much more than just sex. Almost every long lasting couple that is asked about their sex life says that while of course, it is important, sex is not the be all, end all of a relationship. If you are looking for sex, may I suggest downloading an app called Tinder.
3. You just want to tell people.
If you only want people to know that you are in a relationship and show off your boyfriend or girlfriend on social media, your relationship is already destined for failure. The excitement of posting pictures on Instagram with your significant other will quickly fade away and then you’ll be bored. I know your grandma has been pestering you for years to find someone already and maybe your friends are even trying to set you up on dates, but having arm candy is different from having a real connection. When you have a real connection, you won’t really care if people know or not, as long as you and that person are together. And when you finally do bring them home to mom and dad, your parents will be able to tell if you really like the person or if you’re just dating them to appease other people’s expectations of you.
4. You want someone to listen to you.
Sometimes there are problems we can’t consult our friends with. Sometimes, when you wake up, you just wish there was a “good morning” text waiting for you. Often times, people forget that a relationship is a give and take. If you want someone to listen to you, you have to be willing to really listen to them. You have to want to know about every aspect of their life, if they’re supposed to listen to every harrowing detail of yours.
5. You want to replace your ex.
It can take years to get over your ex. Just the way there’s nobody else like you, you’re not going to find anyone else like your ex, but maybe that’s a good thing. Remember the qualities you liked in them for when you start dating again and look for someone who exhibits those same qualities. Also, trying to make your ex jealous is fruitless and a waste of your time. While you’re pretending to like someone for appearances, your ex has probably already moved on with someone they actually have feelings for. It’s not worth it.
6. You want to find “the one.”
If you are anxious to find your soulmate, you’ll be less selective with your options. Your standards will go out the window if you are in a rush to settle down. Instead of searching for “the one,” look for qualities in people that you like and filter out people who have qualities that you cannot tolerate. Take it slow; getting into a relationship is not a race. Instead of looking for signs that it is or isn’t meant to be, just be yourself and take it day by day. People will be drawn to your personality as it is, without the pressure of rushing into titles like “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.”