To those that have thought, the world would be better without me,
Please, please recognize that first and foremost, this statement is but an intrusive suicidal thought. Since I'm able to admit that I have had my fair share of suicidal thoughts, I know how hard it is to step outside of your head and realize this.
And I'm so aware that suicidal thoughts can vary, but this mindset that things would be better without your existing in the world is one that can be hard to shake.
One of the first steps to get out of your ruminating state is to realize that you have the power to make slight changes in your thoughts. And I know how crazy I must sound boasting about thinking good thoughts; but trust me, if you can wake up and think: "Today's gonna be a good day!" you are making strides in the right direction.
It sounds silly to tell people to think happy thoughts or good thoughts because I still go to a dark place more often than I'd like to admit. But every morning the sun shines through your window is yet another bright reminder that the world loves your existence!
It's easy for me to be able to say this and for people to discredit what I've been through – but I speak from experience and know how other people deal with the scary thoughts that they feel from time to time.
Please recognize that you are not better off not existing in this world. You might feel alone and like no one understands you, but allow yourself to slowly get out of your head and realize that you have so much willpower. That could lead to your discovery of self-love (at least in my case it did.)
I just want to let you know that you are stronger than those thoughts. And even by reading this, that's a step – even if you think that this article is chockful of nonsense. Trust me when I say I know how overwhelming the thoughts can be. I know how it feels to think that your mental illness has won. But it has not. You are still alive and breathing. That in and of itself is a feat.
Even if you still think that the world would be better off without you, share that. That's a cry for help. Maybe people might think you're kidding, but even if you don't want to tell your family you're having suicidal thoughts, take it step by step.
Realize that you are having those thoughts. Realize that you are strong enough not to test the validity of those thoughts. Realize that you can make as many differences as you allow yourself to--even if everything up to this point has not worked.
I know how unmotivated you might be. I know, I've been there – I find myself there pretty often.
Sometimes, I feel like a nuisance. I feel like I annoy everyone I come into contact with. In reality, it's my mind making me feel this way.
We can overcome this because we are stronger than our mental illnesses. We are stronger than our intrusive thoughts. We are strong.