Stop Focusing On the "What Ifs?" In Life
Start writing a post
Life Stages

Stop Focusing On the "What Ifs?" In Life

We spend so much of our time replaying scenarios from our lives and asking ourselves "What if?"

107
Stop Focusing On the "What Ifs?" In Life

I often find my attention shifting from a task at hand, to a scenario that usually didn't go in my favor. I start playing it over and over again thinking about everything I did that led to the end result of the situation. I start to insert "what if" into the scenario and immediately start to doubt every decision I have made.

Spending your time focusing on the "what if" scenarios are only going to cause you more pain. These "what if" scenarios are never going to come true and the end result of your actions has already taken place, so instead of fantasizing about apologizing, dating/not dating someone, or changing a defining moment in your life, start focusing on how to grow from your life experiences.

I spent years wishing I had apologized to my Father before he passed away. This was one of my biggest "what if" scenarios. "What if I had apologized to my Dad and we had become closer before he passed?" "What if he hadn't passed away? Would we be close now?" It was hard not to become wrapped up in questions like those and imagine how my life would have turned out had I done one thing differently.

A big one from females after they experience a break up is "What if I had never dated him?" "What if I had never met him?" The idea of having never met the person who caused you pain does sound ideal but think five to ten years from now when you do ultimately meet the right person. You realize what you want from a relationship by experience and pain. I know this is true of myself. I have learned from every relationship I have had. Whether it be a romantic relationship or a friendship, a lot of times these end and taking a step back to realize that the experience you are having right now will only aid you in your future.This is going to be the most beneficial thing you can do.

Growth is something that takes time and being determined to let yourself grow from all of your experiences is necessary. Most people choose to only take the good in their life, focus on it, and grow from there. Using your low points as a lesson will help you grow the most. "What if my dad was still here"? Well, I wouldn't be as compassionate, independent, and strong as I am today. I have to look at my growth from the moments in life that have knocked me down. I've realized that putting this into practice in my life has caused me to own up to my mistakes and pray that I can only do better in the future.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

94220

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

1573599

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

981758
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

903434
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

588168
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

375288
Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?

493253

Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments