When going through a break up, people tend to tell you the same things over and over again. They say, "everything happens for a reason" or "what is meant to be will be." Or my favorite one of all, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, its yours. If it doesn't, it never was." Hilarious, right? More often than not, these "encouraging" words make you feel even worse about the situation. After all, everyone knows that the hardest part of a break up is knowing when to move on. Does the person mean enough to you to stick around and wait it out? Or is it on to the next one? When do you know when to give up?
Throughout my life I have had three serious relationships. The first person was far less than faithful. The second was a selfish narcissist. But the third one was perhaps one of the nicest boys I have ever met (and we all know nice boys are far and few between these days). That is why, when he broke up with me a few months ago, I took that loss the hardest. For months following, we went back and forth with each other. He did not know what he wanted, while I knew all along. He had to find what he did not want in order to show him what he needed. And months later, just like my all-knowing mother told me, he came back. But the question was whether I would be there or not, greeting him with open arms upon his return.
Every day that has gone by, I am glad that I went no where. I truly love the person I am with and think that collectively, we make each other better. There is no one else I would rather have in my life. There is no one who better respects my thoughts and opinions and understands me. You know that saying, "Sometimes things fall apart before they can fall back together?" I think that sometimes that might just be true. Being a young 20-something is confusing and it is hard to work out your feelings for another person whilst simultaneously trying to work out your feelings for yourself. Sometimes we struggle, and sometimes we lose our way. In a way, what is meant to be, really will be. If two people still care for one another and decide they want to be together, they will make it happen. They will not give up on each other, and they will stand by each other's sides.
Being a young 20-something is difficult, that is for sure. But it sure is a lot easier with the right person by your side. And when you think that you have found that person to guide you through those tumultuous years, there is no shame in waiting for them. The fact of the matter is dating in today's society is hard. If you are lucky enough to find someone who is kind, respectful, generous, and compassionate, do not be so quick to walk away from this person. A huge problem with our generation is that we are so quick to replace things (or people) that are momentarily troublesome, rather than fixing what we already have. I promise, if you do decide to work on a relationship that once had a few kinks, you will come back stronger than ever. You will feel confident in your bond, knowing that you mended your fences. You have been through hell and back with each other, and still love each other anyway, and there will never be any shame to be seen in that.
