It might be sad, but it’s definitely true. The days of traditional courting, or sharing a milkshake at the local diner are no longer in the dating handbook. Hell, a phone call is even a rarity when it comes to asking someone out. These new abnormalities in our dating culture created by technology developments may be absurd, but it looks as though they’re here to stay.

Don’t just take my word for it - let’s review the facts. A Berkeley study found 1 in 10 of millennials use a dating site/app (I think many of you lied here, you know who you are). Studies showed an average of 22 minutes spent during each visit, bundling up to an average of 12 hours A WEEK. This is because 59% said this was a great way to meet people. However, beware, 54% felt someone seriously misrepresented themselves in their profile (we are talking to you with the five-year-old profile pic). Even with that, 40% of them knew someone that met their mate online, so it has to be working somehow.

So we’ve changed the dating game and now it’s time to step up our game. Let’s get you ready for your next match or crush with these unspoken “rules” and strategies from our dating generation, and before you know it you’ll lock down a summer fling.

Don’t be afraid of cliché pickup lines.

OK, this one is either a hit or miss, but often times, people don’t want to use the cheesy pickup lines to ask someone out. Something as simple as “Hey, are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day” could work in a party setting or in a dating app. I mean think about it:

• It gets your point across
• You can laugh about it the rest of the night/day
• It shows that you have a sense of humor.

Case closed.

Only swipe right if they have a bio on their dating profile.

Let’s be honest, dating apps are swift judgements of the thumb and based on appearances. If you are on the fence or want to dive deeper, you check out the profile. This can be a game changer.

You can weed out unfit candidates out pretty quickly here. Owns a cat? Probably a no go. Likes to go out and quotes your favorite show in a nonchalant way? Send a message. Bonus points for those that are clever, witty, and use a bit of sarcasm. This is also a great way to start a conversation - so check it out and ditch the single word, “hey” introduction.

No bio? They are probably a boring troll, a robot or a trolling robot. Choose wisely, but as we know we can always unmatch later.

It’s okay to DTR when you’re confused.

DTR stands for Define the Relationship. With texting, then hanging out, “talking,” and then “dating,” there are so many phases of “dating” before you’re actually committed partners. You could just be “talking to someone” usually meaning that you’re not sure how you feel, but you don’t really want to see anyone, and just focus on that one person, and that’s OK.

If you’re confused about what you are, have a conversation and ask to DTR. Fair warning to never assume and just send a “relationship request;” it’s a bold move and the rejection here can be traumatic and incredibly public.

It’s OK to social media stalk.

Let’s be honest, we all do it. The second we think someone is cute, we try to find them on social media. It’s basically how we all communicate. If you don’t have a profile on all of the main mediums, you basically don’t exist. #SorryNotSorry. Just don’t go liking a picture from 64 weeks ago.

Tagged pics are the best pics.

Anyone can pick a profile picture that shows off their best qualities of hair, makeup, or muscles, but the real treasures are the tagged pictures. The tagged pics are where you find them in their natural habitat, and the love is real if you love every single one of them. Have fun on your recon.

No triple texting.

Millennials get pretty busy, and we don’t need three notifications from some person wanting to hook up or talk. Like, can’t you see I have a life, and I’ll text you back soon.

Turn off your read receipts!

The amount of heartbreak that is felt when you text someone an important message, and then you get hit with that read receipt. Turn them off.

More than two “y’s” in your “Hey”

...you know what’s going down

We’re not in middle school anymore, we get it, you’re happy to talk to me. I would be too.

Emoji’s are everything.

You can tell everyone the details of any story you could think of using emojis. You could probably guess how many arguments have been started by using the wrong emoji. Jack and Jill about to tumble down the hill in six emojis.

Small “Get to know you” meet-ups are always a good way to start.

Before you start actually “dating” someone, it’s always a great idea to go out and have some small conversation to get to know each other. This could be anything from getting coffee, to taking a walk in the park, grabbing a drink, or even meeting up at a bookstore. These small conversations will eventually lead to dating someone you actually care a lot about.

I hope this little tool has helped you discover more about the unspoken rules of dating. By using these tools, without a doubt your dating game is about to be changed. So study up, and get out there! It’s time to have fun and meet some new people!

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