It’s that time of the year again.
Frat Heaven combined with a Dad’s one-day dream vacation:
Husky Football Season aka GAME DAY!
Let’s start things off with a little role play:
The sun is shining bright and hot. There’s a beautiful Gold Finch soaring regally through the blue sky above—and for a second you're amazed because this is the first time you’ve ever seen the Washington state bird—but then you quickly realize you’re here for another reason!
It's game day and you’re outside the stadium shuffling awkwardly through the crowd pressed up against some older man whose long since lost the hair on top of his head. He smells like relish and malt liquor—a lot like you, actually.
Struggling to stay close to your group of friends in line you slyly reach down to your long purple and gold socks to make sure the mini shots that you packed didn’t fall out on your trek down to the stadium! Check! Still there. Sobering up would not be the move.
Luckily you've Netflix'd hard enough to have seen "Get Hard" and are familiar with the term "Keistering."
Geez its hot out! You fumble past security while giving them your best impression of “sober” as they scan your Husky ID and you make it into the stadium. Not only do you deserve and academy award for your performance but you also deserve a good seat because you were smarter than the other drunk people you left behind at the tailgate!
Standing behind the field goal you and your friends rejoice because it’s that time of the year where friends who were gone all summer reunite and school hasn’t even started yet! Frankly, it feels like Christmas, but a lot more sinful because of all of the illegal drinking going on!
You take a deep breath and enjoy the sun while it lasts because for some great reason you chose to spend your college years at the University of Washington where, for some great reason, the weather always decides to ruin your day
Maybe next year's Dog Pack Tickets will include an umbrella? An hour from now you might need it.
Luckily your local fraternities and sororities have your back by selling all kinds of cool game day crew necks to keep you warm when the rain comes out trying to dampen your spirits!
But all things rain aside--lets flashback to earlier this morning! What did you do?
Hopefully this.
Yes, we know you drank!
But seriously, what did you do?
Tailgate? Sailgate? Both?
You can’t remember?
Was there music? Loud Music?
OK, good.
But did you at least go over the top 5 most important things to do before a UW husky football game?
No?
Well, shoot. Check out the list!
1. The Seven Hour Rule
OK this one is simple, really.
The game starts at 11 a.m. That means you will be waking up and starting your prefunk at 4 a.m.!
This one is for the diehard fans!
Loud music and a shower shotgun is usually the best way to jumpstart your morning mayhem.
2. The Keg Stand
You may have read my previous article where I claimed that I don’t need morning keg stands to function. That may be true on a typical day living in a fraternity—but game days are not typical!
Sprint to the closest live out/kegger near you and beg someone to hold your feet because a keg stand absolutely MUST be crossed off each and every football fan's bucket list. Preferably more than once.
3. Dizzy Bat
Because why not get excited for football by playing an entertaining version of baseball?
The game is simple:
- Get a Wiffle ball bat
- Poke a hole in the handle
- Pour in one full can of beer.
- Then proceed to hold the bat up and chug said beer out of the wiffle ball bat.
- Another person will count out how many seconds it takes you to chug the beer—and this number becomes how many times you must spin.
- To spin, simply place the end of the bat on the ground and your forehead on the handle while you pivot around this point!
- Each 360 degree rotation = one spin!
Pro Tip: Chug the beer fast.
- After completing the spins, another person will then pitch you the empty aluminum beer can which you will hit with the bat!
- If you miss you must spin another 3 times until you hit the can!
Good luck!
4. The Self-Check
There’s not much to say here that isn’t in the title.
Do you have your tickets?
Maybe make sure you have your Husky ID?
Are you dressed spirited enough? Purple and gold from head to toe?
Do you at least have face paint?
Good work.
5. The $h*t-Talkin’
This is essential for just about every American sport. Why? I’m not sure, but if you do it, everyone will think you’re an a-hole cool.
- Make sure you know who the opponent is. Personal insults will always get the best reaction, but if you’re unfamiliar with the team, or just aren’t football savvy, then feel free to shout out the opponents name and then quickly follow up with your own arsenal of derogatory phrases.
I wish I could give an example here but I don’t really want to get kicked off the writing team so you’ll have to just use your imagination.
That’s it for the five items to check off your game day itinerary! Now have fun out there and stay safe!
GO DAWGS!!
