In this world there are many things that beg to be known, but their mystery remains ambiguous to even those that they affect. For example, I will never understand every single social pressure that made me who I am today, yet I am a proud product of them in everything I do. Among these large ideas comes the generalized idea of a heterosexual monogamous relationship. One of the main observations that astonishes me is the ways in which communication from the start of a relationship to the end (if there is an end) has been standardized through media and the tight grasp of social norms. It almost feels as if these binds of generalizations have killed creativity and originality in the dating world.
One of the rules that I often tend to dodge (but I wish I didn't) is the fact that comparison is the root of all unhappiness. I myself am a victim of comparison because it is a natural tendency for all human beings. It is also a big root cause for unhappiness with the absence of a relationship for many people. The largest comparison people often make with their relationships is to the idea of a fairy tale that is unrealistic. In this fairy tale, other relationships are "perfect" or "never have problems". It seems rudimentary and obvious when put in writing, but ask yourself how many times you have done it. Leaving the comparisons behind and focusing on you and the person you love will do wonders to quiet the background noise in your head.
Gender roles have been a social norm for an incredibly large span of time when it comes to relationships. With ideas such as the Sadie Hawkins, society is getting better at coping with the deconstruction of these roles. The customary form of letting someone know you like them usually involves both unhealthy and healthy pressures from close friends to "just tell them". It's unfortunate, however, that gaining courage to be that vulnerable is another mystery that begs to be known. This is where some different forms of communication along with a creative mind can come into play.
Quite possibly the most overlooked factor of any relationship is the actions performed. Overlooking this large factor leads to the exclusion of a large group of lovers that are just as capable as others to love, but show it in a different way. For example, helping you with a large project you have may be their way of showing love. Their are other unnoticed things in relationships that mean love to one member of the union, but not the other. Gestures, notes, songs, compositions, and art are all viable and often used means of communication within a relationship. The important part about all of this information is to do what works for you and your partner. So stop worrying about everyone else for a while and do what's best for you.
