We all know a family in our town that has faced the tragedy of the loss of a parent. It’s hard for us to put ourselves in their shoes, let alone in the shoes of the remaining parent. We don’t see the struggles they face throughout their journey or how they cope.
Widows and widowers are some of the strongest people. They put aside their own emotions and needs to provide and support their family. A widow or widower seems to fall into a “category” in which we place parents into once they’ve lost their spouse. But the overwhelming tragedy they’ve faced shouldn’t categorize them, but show how empowered they are.
They’re the ones who alone sat at high school graduations, alone move their child into college, alone went to every sporting event, alone dealt with their child’s teenage years and alone watched them grow into young adults.
The key word being "alone." Despite them missing their “everything” in life, they were there for us to support and comfort their own. Looking around, they see paired-off couples supporting their children, while they are by themselves. They are the definition of strength and perseverance. Just for them to get the ambition to go alone and move on through life without their partner and to support their child is pretty remarkable.
A lot of people take for granted having two parents or having a spouse to always lean on. Imagine not having that. It’s easy for a lot of people to rely on their parents individually for different things, but single and widowed parents have to be the mom and the dad for every situation. They have to be able to play both roles for the child. That’s an overwhelming task I cannot even imagine.
Take my mother, the person to whom I owe it all. She now has been widowed for about seven years. Throughout these seven years, she has shown me what the word “strength” truly means. I can’t imagine going through losing someone I love that much and being able to continue on in life the way she has. She puts all of her needs aside for my brothers and I. From working long hours in order for us to live a comfortable life to putting retirement plans aside in order for her children to get a college education.
Growing up as a teenager with a widowed parent, I became very independent. This was both a good and bad thing. I always do everything myself, and sometimes it’s hard for me to let others do things for me. Growing up this way was very unique and I wouldn’t have changed a thing about how I'm so independent. Allowing myself to be like this let me help my mom in ways I didn’t even comprehend at the time. It has allowed us to both grieve together, but persevere through life’s daily challenges.
We all should take the time to look back at situations people in our community have faced with the loss of a parent or spouse. Everything may look mended on the outside, but there's been enormous strength underlying in that family. Everything I owe is to my mother, and I don’t know where I would be without her today.
