So, you want to work retail?

Well, it's not for the faint of heart.

You think you've got what it takes?

We'll see.

Let's begin with the puzzling enigma that is...the customer.

"What is so complicated about a customer?" you may ask. Well, you see, as a retail employee your job is to make the lives of your customers as easy as possible. However, your beloved customers always seem to make your life infinitely more difficult in spite of your efforts. Think of your summer job in retail as preparation for parenthood: cleaning up after your children constantly. It's not always the customer's fault, though. They haven't been properly trained in the art of folding t-shirts and correctly hanging up the very complicated swim suit top they just tried on. (Seriously, why do those things have so many straps? And does anyone in retail really know how to hang a swimsuit the right way?)

You may be thinking to yourself, "This job seems really difficult. How do I survive?"

I'll tell you how.

You must be prepared to answer any question that may come your way:

"Exactly how much do you think this will shrink in the dryer?"

"Do you think this looks too small for me?"

"Can I return this shirt I bought two years ago?"

"What time does that store over there close?"

Oh, and when (Yes, when. Not if) someone asks if you have any more items in the back, the answer is always, "No. No, we do not."

The most frustrating thing about retail is walking into a fitting room and seeing clothes strewn all over the floor. (Despite countless signs reading, "Please do not leave anything in the fitting rooms") It's shocking to see that so many grown men in America do not understand the concept of cleaning up after themselves. But, you must maintain your composure, no matter how big of a mess you find in those fitting rooms. You have to persevere, because those fitting rooms have to be empty by the end of the day, and those clothes aren't going to fold and hang themselves.

Oh, and get ready for parents to let their kids run around the store and destroy everything you've already straightened up for the day.

Often times, it's hard for the customer to realize that you don't know everything about the store.

If it's not in my department, I'm sorry but I have absolutely no idea where it is.

I apologize that our bathroom was a little bit messy, but that is not in my job description.

I don't know why we don't sell the brand you want, I don't make those decisions.

Look man, I'm honestly just as in the dark as you are. I'm not in charge of any important decisions, and I'm just pretending like I know exactly what I'm doing so I can make it through these next 8 hours. Please don't get mad at me.

Inevitably, however, there will be some very rude customers. They'll tell you how ridiculous your system is, how unbelievable it is that the shirt they wanted didn't have a tag on it, and that they will take their business elsewhere if things do not change.

Customers, please realize that the people on the floor in department stores have absolutely no control over most of the things you're getting angry about. Complaining and yelling at them will do nothing to help the situation. And, trust me, you do not want to be the first one to yell at a new retail employee. They will remember it, and you, forever.

Chances are, they've already been yelled at so many times. Do you really want to add to the mix? Just don't be rude, okay?

Despite the occasional grumpy patron, working retail can be a really great experience. You meet so many new people, make friends with your coworkers, and there are some really nice customers that never fail to restore your faith in humanity again.

The best thing ever is when a customer remembers you (and your name) from a different day. Or when they say, "What's your name, I'm going to tell your manager what a great job you're doing."

My advice to you: embrace the experience, use it to strengthen your work ethic, and never step outside your department or risk being spotted and asked a question you do not, and never will, know the answer to.

Good luck, and Godspeed.