I know there are a lot of heartbroken girls that may be reading this right now, and I feel for you. You look for quotes, articles, music, even books, just to cope with your feelings. You talk to your girlfriends/guy friends to seek comfort, because talking to someone is better than bottling it in. Or maybe you do bottle it in. You don’t talk about your feelings because you think it’ll disappear one day. You think that nobody cares or feels how you feel, because getting your heart broken is just different for everyone. You either think the feeling is going to go away all on its own, or for some you may think you’ll never get over this situation.

One of the lessons I’ve took to heart is that what, and whom, is made for you, will always be for you. I always thought the universe had a funny way of bringing people together, and drifting them a part. Sometimes you can be so blinded by what you call ‘love’, to see what is good or bad for you. Sometimes you even stay in a relationship that is harmful to your well being, your mind, and even your body. But why do you stay? You stay because you think that he/she will change. You stay because you think that nobody else will love you like they do. You stay because you are afraid to leave. You stay because you love the idea of having a significant other, even when it causes you pain – because at least you’d have someone at the end of the day. You stay because you think you aren’t worth anything without him/her.

I was the same way, except I let my value, my worth, become so nonexistent that I felt like I was falling into darkness, or that I actually became the darkness. I wasn't who I thought I was. I was the old us. I was the memories we shared. I was the physical and mental abuse. I was the pothead. I was the alcoholic. I was the rape trauma. I was the college drop out. I was the insecurities. I was the person my family didn't see anymore. I was the good memories. I was the bad memories. I was ashamed of who I was. I was ashamed of who I became. I was the girl who didn't know what she was worth - or even who she was anymore.

Days turned to weeks, and I was still trying to heal. You are allowed time to heal. You are allowed time to be angry. We all take time to be where we need to be, emotionally and physically. It is always easier said than done, but don’t let the darkness consume you. Heartbreak is a naturally process we must go through in order to learn, and become better from it. Take that heartbreak and turn it into something beautiful. But how? It must feel like everything is impossible, but it only feels that way. Self-confidence is one of the biggest key factors to moving on. Moving on isn’t just getting over the person, but it’s forgiving the situation, and understanding that things happen for a reason. Self-confidence is the combination of self-efficacy and self-esteem. In order for you to forgive and move on, you have to have the right mindset that this is what you want to do. You don’t want to be this person forever, you want to be a better person. You want to be the person that is able to conquer any situation that life throws at you. Ghandi once said, “Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny”. Sometimes the biggest enemy in our life is the one inside our head.

Look in the mirror:

In order to gain self-confidence, first look at yourself in the mirror. Tell yourself that you are beautiful. Tell yourself that you are worth it. Tell yourself that it is going to be okay, because it is.

Rid the negative thoughts:

Don’t beat yourself up, and don’t let the harsh words and treatments of your ex lower your self-confidence. Tell yourself that you are better than that. Treat your negative thoughts with compassion. Try to let these painful thoughts float away.

Sign up for that gym membership!

If you think that getting a ‘smoking hot’ body will do you justice, then go and sign up for that gym membership. You could even start eating healthier! Your confidence will boost once you realize that not only are you working on your physical appearance, you’re also working on making your organs happy, and you’ll definitely start glowing! You’ll look and feel great.

Meditate:

Get into personal mantras, or seek a higher power. Your mind might be all over the place with emotions, and thoughts, and feelings. Take the time to really focus on yourself through meditation. When you are in the present moment, nothing from the past or future can bother you.

Create a bonfire:

Burn everything. Everything he/she has ever given you. Get rid of any memory, pictures, stuffed animals. Burn it all, you’ll feel better. Oh and that means blocking them on social media. If you can’t do it, get a friend to do it. Burn every memory you’ve had with them to the ground.

Don’t let the pain of the past hurt your future:

Being self-confident means being able to speak about your past in a way that doesn’t make you seem like ‘that girl’, or ‘that guy’. Speak to others with compassion. Not everyone will hurt you. Your confidence and esteem will be boosted when you know you are giving everyone and the world 100%. You attract what you reflect.

Do the things you've always wanted to do:

There are no limits. Take up that hobby. Go skydiving. Finish school. Take a spa day. Buy that puppy you saw. Change your hair color. Take an art class. Eat the things you never could. You are your own person. Own it. Own everything you do, but do it because it was something you wanted to do.

Forgiveness. Forgiveness. Forgiveness.

I had to bring this up again. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Forgive the failed relationships. Forgive the pain that you feel. Whether you regret what they did to you, or what you did to them – but the way to truly let go and appreciate your self-worth is by forgiving and ridding this heavy burden. Forgive yourself. You are human. You make mistakes. But don’t let them define you.

Like Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going”. One day hell will be easier, and you’ll be able to make it through anything. You’ll go through hard times, but what better way to deal with it than to conquer it?

There will ALWAYS be a light, and if you can’t find one – be one. I was able to get over something I thought I could never get over. Days gone on and that person has never crossed my mind. I was able to live my life in peace knowing I was confident in who I was and what I had to offer others, and the world. The power of forgiveness helped me understand, and feel at ease. I forgave myself. I forgave the relationship. I forgave my mistakes. And also, don't think that you will never find anyone. There is someone who is meant for you out there. They will make you feel a thousand times better, and make you float beyond words. You'll question why you were ever so caught up on heartbreak in the first place.